And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Pathmark Merchandise

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"Bachelor Number 5, if I were a wheelbarrow and you were a gardener, what would you do to me?"

Boogie Loc instantly regretted wearing the 150 lb medallion with his name and album title on it.

"A giant crying man standing right behind me. Yeah, right!"

See, this is what happens when you try to make soup without reading the instructions.

See, this is what happens when you take the art class in shading but skip anatomy.

"Why do we need to say grace? I'm right here."

"PAY TRIBUTE TO THIS RECESS' REIGNING TETHERBALL CHAMPION"

At first I was bummed that this was just the shot of some guy's head. Then I realized it was a tarantula crawling back there! Then I looked closer and realized it was just some guy's head again.

This album cover just made Neil Degrasse Tyson's head implode.

John Hederdick Joel

Hamachi uni tekkamaki. Maguro hirame unagi ikura kazunoko. Hirame hotate tobiko sake tako seigo sayori. Usuzukuri sashimi wasabi yakitori torigai. Kurabota sunomono, tataki saba udon ebi kani chirashi. Takuwan goma ae gari kani don otaru shiro tekkyu ninjin? Nasu gobo shisonomi siitake kappa horenso maki.

Takuwan nasu kyuri kanpyo tobiko saba maguro ika– natto takuwan futomaki kani kai hamachi.

(Pictured above, J'Net is shocked by the futomaki offerings, much to Jessica's concern)