Walmart Needs To Calm Down.

Spotted online: an ad for what looks like an ice tray that creates a big veiny ice dick.

I thought cold temperatures made things shrink?

More Things That Are Objectively Cuter Than Ariana Grande

Pop superstar Ariana Grande continues to project the image of being the cutest thing in the universe. With respect, we at EADJ have found a few more things that are proven to be cuter than her:

• panda paws

• baby doll cowboy boots

• plush starfish

• crocodiles wearing glasses

• fingernail-sized frogs (however poisonous)

• velour mittens

• the fact that Ziggy doesn't have a neck

• Dustin Hoffman giggling

• Ed Sheeran attempting to grow facial hair

• when kids sing along to "Smack My Bitch Up"

Let's Douse The EADJ Mail Sack With Plenty Of Mineral Spirits!

Submitted by JOEL HIMSELF, a clip from "Archer" where the words "Eat a dick, jungle" are actually spoken. EADJ.



To assume that the writers of "Archer" read this blog is about as presumptuous as assuming that CBS 2 News' Lonnie Quinn reads this blog. Which he does.

A Subway Sign

MTA has posted signs on the subway that warn against the dangerous practice of "surfing the train."


I gotta admit, I've never heard of surfing the train, but now that they've shown me how to do it, I think I'll give it a shot next time on the 7. Wheeee!


And wouldn't you know it, some guys have posted videos of themselves surfing the train on YouTube: