Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: The too-cool-for-school Sheltie, walking around the main playground rather than running through it

Me: The half Boxer/Collie who had sniffed your butt already at the entrance but wanted to sniff more

Call me when you want to get together. No, wait. Neither of us have phones. :(

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You: The yappy Chihuahua 

Me: The yappy Pomeranian 

Hey dude you seem pretty cool dude we should totally meet up sometime and hang out dude you know what I mean I don't want to sound too pushy but I got a good vibe from you dude and we should totally hang out that would be cool dude don't you think okay see you later dude bye

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You: That white dog

Me: The half blind Doberman

Hey there white dog. I can't see too good at my age but I remember your color. You were smallish and white and smelled delicious. Hit me up when you get this– I'm pretty hungry white dog

Because We Can't Stop Talking About It: Learnings 2 from 25 Days of Hallmark Movies

I'm sure a lot of you readers are wondering, so who won EADJ's 25 Days of Hallmark Movies? Well, little scout, this month-long segment wasn't a competition per se, but since you asked, we have to give it a little bit of thought here.

The 25 men and 25 women were judged on likability, believability and overall attractiveness. People were eliminated if they were annoying, too passive, generic or otherwise boring as shit. Also there were a few children, and they shouldn't win anything.

MEN: The EADJ judges picked Brennan Elliott who played the lovelorn music teacher Danny Collier in "A Christmas Melody," also starring Lacey Chabert and Mariah Carey. He seemed pretty believable and didn't embarrass himself with dramatic overtures of love and pining. He was also not a dick to anybody else–you'd be surprised how many of the other main characters were pricks before they magically fell in love.

WOMEN: There were a lot of blank slates here, defined only by their need to FIND A MAN BY CHRISTMAS DAY. That's pretty depressing. But Arielle Kebbel's goofy turn as Christmas festival organizer Chloe seemed proactive and stable enough to win her the 2017 crown. It didn't hurt that she looks like a younger, hotter Britney Spears.

And there you have it: Elliot + Kebbel = ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS ROMANCE

2017's power couple hasn't starred in a Hallmark Christmas movie together, but at the rate Hallmark is cranking that shit out, it's only a matter of time when he plays a single father who owns a construction company and she's a lonely homeowner who needs someone to repair her broken porch and heart. "Christmas Under Construction," coming November 2018!