UAG

Featured Products at This Year's Half-Assed Consumer Electronics Show

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) is normally a very exciting showcase of new electronic product launches, but somehow this year no one, including the organizers, are very into it. Here now are some of the exhibitors you can look forward to (or not):

• another Roomba, except this one's more oval shaped? Who cares

• I dunno, a remote control for the washer and dryer that controls them? 

• Some bullshit thing you wear on your wrist that monitors your whatever

• Could you change the image on the big screen so we can watch football or something?

• This new vape pen that doubles as a breathalyzer... fuck, this is lame

• Are you guys leaving? Can I get a ride? You leaving now?

Fringe Backdrop

In Honor Of May the Fourth, Here Are The Latest Star Wars Tie-In Merchandise

It's no secret that Lucasfilm's Star Wars properties are very big business in the merchandising world, especially since Disney acquired them in 2012. Here are the latest products you can expect on store shelves from the marketing juggernaut:

Star Wars Mouse & Insect Glue Traps

There's no need to bullseye womp rats from your T-16 when you can just lay these pre-baited adhesive glue traps to catch them in your moisture farm grain silo. Also catches Earth mice!

Star Wars Diabetic Socks

A large majority of SW fans have health issues connected to obesity. Diabetes is one of them. These special socks provide support for circulatory problems related to diabetes, whether you're standing in line for the Hall H panel in San Diego or participating in the Running of the Willrow Hoods.

Star Wars X Massengill Douche

Female Star Wars fans have been ignored for too long. But that's the past, as Star Wars partners with douche giant Massengill to offer natural SW-themed freshness to vaginae across the galaxy.

Star Wars Brake Pads

George Lucas was always a fan of speed, whether it was the hot rods in American Graffiti or the pod racers in Episode 1. These Star Wars branded brake pads provide the responsible counter to runaway speeds, offering safety, control and long-lasting reliability you can expect from Star Wars merchandise.

DoorDasher Photography Critique #2

Holy shit. Check out this one from "Camilla":

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MORE DRAMATIC DOORDASHER PHOTO?!

My God, it's like Hitchcock. Who took the photo? Why is the car idling in the middle of the road? What horror of horrors is Camilla about to commit on my doorstep? 

It must be stated that the biggest strength of this photo is the composition. Everything is contained in the doorframe whose shape is echoed in the open door itself. Both frame the action of Camilla ascending the stares, providing thrilling tension with the perspective and repeating lines of the stairs. A mundane delivery is transformed into a nail biting thriller of the highest order. Truly, truly excellent work!

Grade: A+++