"Never Underestimate the Pathmark of Human Stupidity."

Here Are Your Job Numbers For the Week of October 19

Jallo!

This is Kurtzmann at front desk! I say hello to all of you all every day! It become my turn to send out reminder that sheets of time be submit today before end of today. Please do so now so that I can let you out of building! I am kidding- I am not allowed to do that for real life. Happy face.

Here they are:

935888 - Status meeting re-rescheduling

525001 - Arguing that At The Drive In! is more influential than TV On The Radio

313208 - Demanding your donated plasma back

712204 - Convincing HR that whipping out your dick is a religious practice

533788 - Preparing your rhymes for tonight's battle cipher

891341 - Bonding with the mail room guys over hating geese

118270 - Making a stipple portrait of John Oliver by throwing pencils at the ceiling

424728 - Giving head to the Dominos guy because you forgot your wallet

661820 - Fishing your smartphone out of the toilet

484012 - Really turning this place around

920130 - Pleading with a bear

The Hall Of Anthropomorphic Horrors Grows

Not long ago, we introduced to you two abominations of nature: a tooth brushing his teeth and a hand with hands.

Now check this shit out. A FOOT with FEET.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW??!?!!!

IM IN UR MAILZ SORTING YR LETTERZ

(pictured above, the depressing realization that Curlz has been with CK from the very beginning)