Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of February 16

The following hashtags are so unused and lonely, they called their ex-girlfriend just to talk.

#Jeb2016

#humbleselfie

#tanningmytaint

#placentamuffins

#iforgiveBieber

#elegantracism

#pinterestisnotawasteoftime

#wackywallcrawlerscollection

#stretchedoutandreadyforactionnotsex

Bike Helmet Hated Being Left Outside

 

Bike Helmet hated being left outside.

 

  

C-clamp Stand just laughed and lit a cigar.

 

Lawn Mower Chute had no comment.

 

Two Toilet Paper Rolls On A Toilet shed a tear.

 

Two Apples and a Rotten Banana thought it was hilarious.

 

Rooftops in Prague were both shocked and delighted.

 

Bathroom Dryer winked his approval.

 

ComEd Truck crossed his eyes and stayed out of it.

 

Two Slices of Cheese On a Cutting Board entertained suicidal thoughts.

 

Railroad Tie was unimpressed.

 

So were 4 Hampers at Babies Я Us.

 

Condom Dispenser couldn't see what the big deal was all about.

 

But Beer Vat couldn't get over it.

 

Finally, my Mom's filthy microwave just wished he were clean.

Spotted In A Cheap Hotel In Europe (Don't Ask)

An Imperial Stormtrooper has no frickin' idea who he's messing with.

Let's Empty The Oil Pan Of the EADJ Mail Sack!

From Larry L., a link from Gizmodo about the latest Star Wars merch:

"Even I think this is awesome.
And I'm not into Star Wars."

Link


Yes, it is indeed awesome, but think about it: it's an enlarged representation of a Lego toy version of a Stormtrooper. With a clock in its belly. How more removed from the original trilogy can you be? Other than "Attack Of The Clones," of course.

Are You there Joel? It's Me, Dick.

Sorry for the lack of updates. It's been so busy at EADJ headquarters. It seems like we're stormchasers around here sometimes, except instead of a huge tornado, it's a 140 lb. blur of a man eating lots of serious cock.

Joel hit a career milestone today, eating his 7,000th dick. Spectators and well-wishers were there to help Joel celebrate the occasion, watching the big dick clock turn over from 6,999. Parade Magazine reporters were there to document the event and to make Joel the coverboy for the Feb. 18 issue. Joel is also going to appear in a swimsuit spread in Soldier of Fortune Magazine, holding three thongs in his mouth and a Faberge egg in his anus.

(pictured above, Gay Bears, the newest Western boy band on Fresh Jive Records, climb up the Gay Alternative charts with their hit "Your Love's Fermenting In My Taint.")