Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is adding to their lineup this month:

• Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Illegal Video Camera Edition)

• KNOW THE DIFFERENCE: Christina Hendricks vs. Anna Kendrick

• Masterclass: Squidward Teaches the Clarinet

• The Moon Landing: Of Course It Happened. What're You, Stupid?

• Behind the Scenes of Cheaters: How We Made It Look Real

• Full Penetration News

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• Home Alone 4: Too Old For This Shit

• A Show Where Characters Occasionally Say "Alexa" To Annoy Your Echo Dot

• Pillow Talk, where we literally talk to pillows

• Craft Corner: Knitting Gifts That People Will Throw Away

• Smell That Shit, Donna

• Star Trek: The Neelix Cooking Chronicles Which Is Unnecessary Because They Already Have Food Replicators

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

This is only slightly more offensive than the actual Barbie dolls.

My desert island album: not this mixtape.

The new iPhone 8 is going to be so expensive, you're better off talking into a stack of hunnids.

Fiber. And the printed word.

I swear I think I see Luanne Platter's ass from "King of the Hill" in there somewhere.

Oh, don't remind me of that awful Mark Wahlberg "Planet of the Apes" movie.

I imagine not being able to understand a word he raps.

Okay, can we all just agree that a shot of a rapper blowing smoke isn't creative anymore? It's about as edgy and interesting as a steaming bowl of oatmeal. Yay, oatmeal.

An Abomination Of A Different Kind

In a previous post, we introduced you to our Hall of Anthropomorphic Horrors, featuring a tooth with teeth, a hand with hands, and a foot with feet.

Last weekend in a hobby store, we happened upon another, completely different kind of abomination:

Look. It's a "Cool Collecting Barbie," which in itself has been labeled a "collectible."

So what does it collect, exactly? When you open the box does it collect itself? Does it seal itself back in the box to preserve its collectibility? Or does it collect other collectible Barbies to create a new Supercollectible? IS THIS THE END OF THE HUMAN RACE?????

***THIS JUST IN*** The EADJ Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index REFERENCED On CBS 2 News!

Submitted by J'Net, actual video of the 2/26 CBS News Weather Broadcast where Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood") and Lonnie Quinn actually reference the "Lonnie Quinn Sleeve-o-meter!"

Fast forward to the end of his forecast at 2:10 if you don't believe me:




(Video no longer available. Dammit.)




Transcript

Maurice: We'll keep an eye on the sleeve, the jacket, and all that.

Lonnie Quinn: That's right. Watch the Sleeve-o-monitor… the Sleeve-o-meter!




Holy shit. That can only mean that CBS 2 News has read the entries about the Lonnie Quinn-dex on EADJ and are referencing THIS VERY BLOG!!!!

No, really. Even if they didn't call it the Lonnie Quinn-dex, a quick Google search of the misnamed "Lonnie Quinn Sleeve-o-meter" showed Eat A Dick Joel as the FIRST SEARCH RESULT.

This is huge. So Lonnie, Maurice, and Kristine, if you are reading this, hi, I'm a really big fan of your newscast, and if one of you would utter the phrase "Eat A Dick Joel" on the air, I'd really appreciate it.

And please tell Alice Gainer I'm sorry I called her a homewrecker.

Bike Helmet Hated Being Left Outside

 

Bike Helmet hated being left outside.

 

  

C-clamp Stand just laughed and lit a cigar.

 

Lawn Mower Chute had no comment.

 

Two Toilet Paper Rolls On A Toilet shed a tear.

 

Two Apples and a Rotten Banana thought it was hilarious.

 

Rooftops in Prague were both shocked and delighted.

 

Bathroom Dryer winked his approval.

 

ComEd Truck crossed his eyes and stayed out of it.

 

Two Slices of Cheese On a Cutting Board entertained suicidal thoughts.

 

Railroad Tie was unimpressed.

 

So were 4 Hampers at Babies Я Us.

 

Condom Dispenser couldn't see what the big deal was all about.

 

But Beer Vat couldn't get over it.

 

Finally, my Mom's filthy microwave just wished he were clean.

If You're Seated On The Right Side of The Cabin, You'll Be Able To See Racist Appliances