More Dumb Taglines For a Dumb Movie From 2015

 

Hey, Wait a Minute...

Ronald? Somebody is moonlighting.

 

Synopses For Upcoming Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Impasse"

Charlie's fake elector scheme falls apart. The Tan Council approves the demolition of the Pink Projects. The Colorforms crime rate skyrockets when the Purple Police go on strike.

"Decisions"

The Colorforms City power grid is compromised by Monochrome Terrorists. New districts are gerrymandered so that the Yellow Party stays in power. Charlie cuts off his deadbeat brother.

"Shit You Not"

Orange and Red neighbors realize they're not so different after all, but the Oranges will never forgive Reds for the damage to their property. Charlie meets with some Saudi investors to finance the Colorforms light rail. A Green sweatshop goes up in flames at the same time a nearby luxury apartment complex is announced.

UAG

An Example of Birdhouse Racism

An ad spotted on Amazon:

What's wrong with the green birdhouse? Why is it valued less if it's exactly the same besides color? Is that for the lower income birds? Separate but equal, my eye.

This Week In Chicago Whatever

 The following are episode synopses for this week:

Chicago P.D.

Criminologist Harren Walker joins the team. Kelsey can't get her locker open. Some young punks give Sgt. Dukey a new nickname. 

Chicago Med

The NICU nurses throw a party at the worst time. Theresa and Donovan bury the hatchet in the commissary. Without his glasses, Dr. Carrow sutures his fingers together.

Chicago Fire

Battalion Chief Baldwin confronts an old nemesis. Kaitlyn reveals her diagnosis to the other EMS technicians. Lieutenant Klein burns his dick off at the training center.

An Imagined Conversation

"Jiehong, we need a name for our restaurant."

"Okay, Chun. Something Chinese."

"How about something with dragons or pandas? Like Panda Hut?"

"Hmmm. I like it, but can it be more natural? Like outdoorsy?"

"Oh! How about a garden?"

"Yes! I like gardens! So, maybe Jade Garden? Or Dragon Garden?"

"Mmmm. Dragon Garden is a mouthful."

"Panda Garden?"

"That's weird. What's a panda doing in a garden?"

"What's a dragon doing in a garden?"

"Okay, fair... How about, Emerald Garden!"

"I like it! But it doesn't really speak to food."

"I think you're being too literal about this. It can be Jade or Emerald or Dynasty Garden or Ming Garden..."

"No, I got it! TOMATOES!"