“Pathmark Is the Only Thing Stronger Than Fear."

A Richness of Embarrassment

Due to the understandably overwhelming success of "What Matt Thinks," people are crawling out of the woodwork, asking to contribute to EADJ. Brynn wants her own video EADJ segment. Beth (pictured above), an avid Brothers and Sisters viewer, has offered to transcribe some actual pussified lines from the show.

Not all requests will become developed, however. So settle down, ladies.

Tits!

So Joel was off Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. He came in to work on Thursday to just pick up a paycheck, but Janice and Rashid convinced him to stay since he was the only one who knew how to adjust the deep fryer to make onion rings.

All that time off was enough for Joel to concentrate on his new terrible screenplay: the story of a young couple who love each other and want to get married but have to get Robin Williams' approval before walking down the aisle. Robin Williams will have plenty of room in the script to "improvise" and make "off-the-cuff" remarks while still staying in character– Joel has built these sections into the script labeled [ROBIN FUNNY]. He has also written his chimp servant as Robin Williams' parochial assistant, although the chimp servant has flatly refused to read for it. Maybe a chubby child...

Some Warner Brothers execs have expressed both interest and arousal from the budding screenplay. Two likeable (but not yet bankable) stars have signed up for the lead roles already: John Krasinki and pop singer Rihanna. Variety has lauded the studio for bravely depicting an interracial couple with its headline: MISCEGENATION RULEZ!

Warner Brothers have generously agreed to pay half of Joel's August rent in exchange for the completed screenplay. Joel is PSYCHED!

(pictured above, Kelly Clarkson bridges the generational gap between the insecure, useless, shoppy white chicks under 18 and the insecure, useless, shoppy white chicks over 18)