Some Unfortunate Things You Could Be Wearing While Having Road Rage

If you're going to be behind the wheel and suddenly flip the fuck out over something that happened on the road, here are some items of clothing we hope you don't happen to be wearing at the time:

• "Jesus Loves You" t-shirt
• ball gag
• screen-accurate Scarlett O'Hara cosplay
• your Taco Bell uniform
• "Ask me about refinancing your home today!" button
• a condom (while you're inside your wife)
• diabetes socks and Crocs
• papal vestments
• Paypal vestments
• "Miss Peru" pageant sash
• your Kennedy Honors Award Ribbons
• the macaw on your shoulder who repeats everything you say
• tar and feathers
• the look of love
• your dashing Mariachi band outfit, complete with rhinestoned sombrero, rhinestoned guitar and rhinestoned saddle for your burro (who is being towed in the trailer behind you)
• a name tag that says "Stan Lee," because you're Stan Lee

Spotted On The Highway

A health brochure from the local free clinic passes me on the parkway.

A Sunday Non-Drive

The wife went to South Jersey on Sunday, leaving me to run one errand– but without the car– so I hoofed it for a mile along Springfield Avenue like a goddamned hobo. Here's some of what I saw that day: