UAG

Coming Soon

A movie based on a TV show that's only showing in theaters.

Good Job, Nonwhite!

The other day, Tom noticed this item sitting on a co-worker's cubicle shelf:

"Most Promising Minority Student?" What the f? Is that supposed to be complimentary from that University? Seems a little patronizing. No, actually not patronizing... more like qualifying, like "Hey, you're doing pretty well for a Hispanic," or "We don't expect much from Blacks, but wow, you surprised us."

Makes you think there's a "regular" "Most Promising Student" award somewhere on some collar-popping, power-lunching dickhead's oak desk.

And the "Our Differences Bring Us Together" at the bottom makes it all the more contradictory and insulting. Thanks, Denny's University!

But that's just my kneejerk opinion, uh, in case that co-worker happens to read my blog. Hi!

Joel's Misadventures At the Food Court

If there's one thing Joel is known for besides eating dick, it's nothing.

So imagine everyone's utter surprise when Joel saunters into the Food Court at the Burbank Town Center, a mall that's known to not have any dick eateries at all!

The kids working the Lotus Express were crestfallen.

Auntie Anne's Pretzels thought it was a joke.

The woman at Saladworks actually shat herself.

Joel, in fact, cause such a stir that he was confronted twice by mall security, once in front of the Piercing Pagoda, and one by the Make Your Own Teddy Bear Bullshit Factory.

Turns out that it wasn't Joel at all, but Roger Camberon, famed Joel impersonator. Roger forgot he had his Joel outfit on instead of his regular clothes and was just bopping in to get a Chilito. But always the professional, Roger took photos with some thrilled fans and signed a few dicks.

(pictured above, a realtor in Maryland who is so successful, he wears a tuxedo and carries a Clio Award with him. More on Young Kang here.)