Showing posts with label instagram. Show all posts
Showing posts with label instagram. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

AMAZING New Speakers Scheduled For VidCon!!!!


The upcoming VidCon is shaping up to be a veritable Who's Who of High School Students influencers, content creators and Instagram models, and tickets are still available! Reserve your spot now and catch these newly added speakers:

• Bad Luck Brian is scheduled to fall down the convention center stairs in a horrific accident

• Dhar Mann wasn't invited, but the police will be ready to tackle him if he does show up

• Instagram comedian Toby Wallace unveils his HILARIOUS and SPOT-ON impression Mr. Hargraves from 3rd period!

• TikTok's Sherpa Watzillahala will catch a bullet. In their chest.

•  Cristiano Ronaldo will stand up and personally name and thank all 628 million of his Instagram followers.

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Some Crowdfunded Projects That Just Got Greenlit


Thanks to suckers investors like you, Kickstarter has helped this entrepreneurs get these new projects off the ground and onto shelves:

• Dehydrated Cheez-Its: just add water!

• A mattress that jerks you off at different speeds. What's your sleep number?

• The Wheel™

• Laser bread slicer for geeks who don't care about the safety of their children

• Suffering-flavored Tang

• Miniature cabbage you can grow in your ear

• A high-end shoebox that can hold your high-end coupons for high-end groceries

• Another fucking device for you to keep up with

• Instagram filter that makes you look like you're not a shitty attention-seeking Instagrammer

Thursday, October 10, 2019

And More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

Previous installments of this stupid segment are here.


Program note: Although Pantone is still commonly used throughout the publishing and marketing industry, we have added HEX numbers for digital applications and for millennials who have never heard of Pantone fans.







Update: We just realized that using the symbol "#" doesn't translate as "number" to millennials, so now they're all going to be confused, checking Instagram for trending hashtags, #Jeez

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Emily RANTS, or... Wait, What Was This Segment Called Again? Oh, Yeah. EMILY VENTS 4

Editor's Note: Emily has plenty of opportunity to be outraged about anything else going on in the world but has opted to continue picking apart Potbelly's Instagram feed, as is her absolute right. 



Jingle jingle, here comes the shittiest snowman you’ve ever seen, so no, I’ll pass.  The face is pants-on-head retarded including that wet piece of industrial brown paper towel featured as “backwoods learning disability hair.” #justfuckmyshitup 


“What if we were to style the soup so that it would simulate drinking pubes?”  “I got this, fam.” At least when you eventually put your wet earmuffs back on you won’t be able to hear any more terrible copy. 


This one continues to make me particularly angry.  Hey, here’s some wadded up paper bags with a cookie haphazardly glued on (not for human consumption).  Oh and hey – I included some coffee grounds in a filter because with this thoughtful gift, I’m clearly staying for breakfast.  You don’t even need to know what I look like.  #anon


Happy Valentines Day, from your favorite scissoring sandwiches. 



Oh cool, guys.  A 45-billion old dino patty.  Dry cracks and all.  Do you have a pamphlet in case I need more tiny pieces of skin hanging from the roof of my mouth?  Snicker-Don’t. 


5 second rule.


Met your true love with the Trash ‘n Coffee Grounds Bouquet?  Now join your life with your one and only with our Sweaty Outdoor Wedding Meat Bouquets.  Adult Nuptials Diaper not included. 


Shameless equity stealing from a polar opposite day of social cause.  #missingthepointentirely (thanks, Estoye)


And here is some Bonus Content for both of you E.V. readers: A profile of Potbelly's Social Media Director, Sharon Tubbs! (authored by Emily Kane)


Sharon Tubbs
VP, Social Media Content Specialist, Potbelly Corporation

Sharon joined the Potbelly team in 2014, brought on by the need to define a voice and visual style for Potbelly in the social media space that reflects core Potbelly values and is flexible enough to be continually topical to the Facebook community year round.  Her Potbelly content pillars New-New, Education, Food Personification, Current Events and Distinctive Styling have inspired messaging streams that have significantly increased engagement, affinity and acquisition measures since implemented.  Her “Bag Bouquet” post in February 2017 gained particular traction among the online audience, and she’s particularly well known for her social post verbiage puns which she implements with discretion as part of her Surprise & Delight messaging strategy.

Sharon came to Potbelly after 9 years with Dress Barn (Ascena Retail Group, Inc.), where she successfully launched the brand’s first website in 2006.  Prior to that, Sharon held the position as Innovation Design Director for Broderbund’s ClickArt division, expanding their portfolio of boxed DVD offerings via Holiday and Christian collections. Both launches increased HH penetration by way of broadened consumer relevancy.

On a more personal note, Sharon has a long-term seat on the board of directors for the Save the Manatee Club and has a running side project on etsy that offers more conservative bachelorette party products for sale.  Sharon works from home in Orlando, FL with her budgie “Chirps” and her two ferrets, “Randy” and “Simon.”  

Thursday, September 8, 2016

New EADJ Segment: Emily VENTS


Here is a new segment we'd like to try out on the blog called "Emily VENTS." It mainly consists of Emily Kane's texts seething about stuff she doesn't like.

Editor's Note: Emily is unemployed so therefore has a lot of time to vent on different things that annoy or vex her. This week it's Potbelly Sandwiches' Instagram feed (??!!???!!??), where she takes issue with both image and copy:


#wherethefuckisthefoodstylist

I mean, that picture is garbage. And the copy. Terrible.
Look at the soup. Seriously. Why is there soup residue on the top inside of the cup? WHY.

And those mushrooms look like anus. It's making me visibly angry.


Brown bananas.

Let's eat some mushy, overripe bananas while reflecting on a corpse. #RIP.




Half eaten agency lunch.

Agency lunch- because all you deserve is a bunch of sad sandwiches in cardboard. You're that good.



Just terrible looking.

How about we finish each others... manicure.


Wtf.

That'll be the day when I never want to see a Buddy Holly hoagie again.


Let's top some gross pasta with nasty meat.

Taste buds aren't the only thing in store...


I just can't even. Look at that bacon tongue. #beeflips

Is it really football season if you aren't looking at some "curtains" coming out of a dry sandwich?

*football not to scale

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Latest Upcoming Instagram Stars

Instagram, the Twitter for people who can't read, has become a breeding ground for many new online personalities. Here now are the latest Instagrammers to follow:


J3ffBladen
  • 826 posts
  • 85.8k followers 
  • 171 following

J3ffBladen mainly posts photos of him wearing his designer shirts, his midcentury modern house in Malibu, and screenshots of his major accomplishments on Sims 3.



tanyaandsherri
  • 1226 posts
  • 8.2k followers 
  • 4500 following

Mostly a gag Instagram account, Tanya and Sherri are actually two teenage boys from Vermont who hide bundt cakes and swim floaties in their yoga pants to prank people.


cake
  • 3 posts
  • 9 followers 
  • 2 following

Little is known about the man in Helsinki named "Cake," except that he has some very strong opinions on fracking and about the latest 6 "X-Files" episodes.




BamonisBroadside
  • 489 posts
  •  333 followers 
  • 63k following

Bamonis Broadside is a 19 year old vegan fashion designer in the Bronx who can recite every line in "The Tempest" and who has never owned a television. He is FUCKING UNBEARABLE.


    kathlovesjimmo
    • 35k posts
    • 6.3M followers 
    • 0 following

    Engaged couple Kath and Jimmo love each other so much, they started an Instagram account together. 6 million followers tune in every day to watch them document every detail of their loving love life and the lives of those they love. 6 million people need to get a fucking life.