Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of April 25, 2017

I scream, you scream, we all scream for Twitter's servers to crash permanently! Here are the latest godawful hashtags you can use in your godawful Twitter feed, ya dense goon:

#grist

#slothjerky

#Cheetochopsticks

#poppingzitsattheMet

#icanfitCheeriosonmydick

#promposingatanSTDclinic

#WolfBlitzersballsarentfurry

#browsingKalPennsIMDbpage

#bodyshamingStephenHawking

#alotofthesethingsareblatantlysexual

New EADJ Segment: Emily VENTS

Here is a new segment we'd like to try out on the blog called "Emily VENTS." It mainly consists of Emily Kane's texts seething about stuff she doesn't like.

Editor's Note: Emily is unemployed so therefore has a lot of time to vent on different things that annoy or vex her. This week it's Potbelly Sandwiches' Instagram feed (??!!???!!??), where she takes issue with both image and copy:

#wherethefuckisthefoodstylist

I mean, that picture is garbage. And the copy. Terrible.

Look at the soup. Seriously. Why is there soup residue on the top inside of the cup? WHY.

And those mushrooms look like anus. It's making me visibly angry.

Brown bananas.

Let's eat some mushy, overripe bananas while reflecting on a corpse. #RIP.

Half eaten agency lunch.

Agency lunch- because all you deserve is a bunch of sad sandwiches in cardboard. You're that good.

Just terrible looking.

How about we finish each others... manicure.

Wtf.

That'll be the day when I never want to see a Buddy Holly hoagie again.

Let's top some gross pasta with nasty meat.

Taste buds aren't the only thing in store...

I just can't even. Look at that bacon tongue. #beeflips

Is it really football season if you aren't looking at some "curtains" coming out of a dry sandwich?

*football not to scale

Up Next On The EADJ Crappinema: "KAW!"

Sometimes life isn't fair. For every Tom Hanks, there's a Peter Scolari. For every Keanu Reeves, there's an Alex Winter. Same goes for the MacManus brothers from "The Boondock Saints." While Murphy MacManus (Norman Reedus) went on to a starring role in the smash hit AMC series "The Walking Dead," Connor MacManus (Sean Patrick Flanery) just ended up starring in "KAW!" -a shitty movie about killer crows- as some guy named Merkle. Merkle!

I realize I'm adding an exclamation to the title of this movie, but to hell with it. "KAW!"

"This time, the crows scare YOU." I made that up.

Merkle!