The ProofrEADJER: Mini March Edition

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE FROM TASK CHAIR

WAKE UP, YOU LIMP-DICKED PUSSIES

TASK CHAIR IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE, AND YOU ARE A SIMPERING FUCKWAD IF YOU THINK YOU WON'T BE PRODUCTIVE UP IN THIS BITCH

GET MAD, COCKSUCKERS

TASK CHAIR HAS ALL THE ADJUSTABILITY AND COMFORT OF AN AERON CHAIR WITHOUT YOU MORTGAGING YOUR FUCKING HOUSE FOR ONE. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, IT COMES IN A CARDBOARD BOX. SO YOUR FIRST TASK IS TO PUT THAT MOTHER TOGETHER WITH YOUR BARE HANDS, YOU HESITANT FUCK.

GET YOUR TO-DO LIST READY, YOU UNPRODUCTIVE FUCK-BAGS. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET DONE AROUND THIS DUMP.

TAKE YOUR DAD'S DICK OUT OF YOUR HAND AND ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES, CUZ TASK CHAIR WILL BE GODDAMNED IF NOTHING GETS DONE IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS

Coming Soon To A Sam Goody's Near You

Featuring the tracks

• "WHAT RU CHKN?"

• "Smokin In The Boys Room"

• "(Get Your Older Brother To) Buy Us Beer"

• "Run Home To Mommy"

• "Fingering Amy Dodd (Why Haven't You Yet?)"

• "The Movie 'Grease" Has A Really Good Message To It"

• "NyQuil"

• "Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It. Do It (Do It)."

Friggin' Priorities.

Spotted in a Sesame Street fire safety coloring book:

Despite burning clothes, fur and the possibility of third degree burns all over his flesh, Cookie Monster makes sure he does NOT drop his cookie.

Wait a minute. He didn't have cookies during "stop" and "drop," so where did that cookie come from?

UNSOLVED MYSTERIES