Now We Say Goodbye To All the Stuff Ads Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Three Years After A Forgettable Horror Movie Is Released, An Obscure Blog Continues To Offer Alternate Taglines For the Poster

REAL LIFE FACT: An alternate title for "Avalanche Sharks" was "Snow Sharks."

Because maybe the concept of sharks in an avalanche was too over the top for some audiences.

The Japanese chose to call it "Ice Jaws," which doesn't make any more or less sense.

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up

"E.R.F.D?" As in "Emergency Room Fire Department?" That is some serious shit right there.

Some people are so New York, they look like out-of-town tourists.

Hey, look, it's Yoshimitsu from Tekken 3!

UAG

Someone Has Never Learned How To Wrap Up A Letter Properly

Editor's Note: I hesitated to post this entry, but Andrew Gall encouraged me to, and I figured, fuck it.

So I was Googling Penthouse Pet Valentina Vaughn (above) whilst editing yesterday (don't ask), and I came across this gem of a welcome letter on a porn site:


"Thanks?" Talk about an abrupt ending to a letter. Kind of rude of her, really. Get you all hot and bothered, then sign off so casually?


Here now are some other abrupt endings that Ms. Vaughn had used in other welcome letters:

"I need a huge cock to fill my quivering pussy. KTHXBYE!"

"Your moist, sweat-covered balls tickle my asshole. SMELL YA LATER!"

"You tag my ass chicken-wing-style, making me cum like a freight train. SEACREST OUT!"

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Da Station

Remember that great show "WKRP?" And the urban comedy smash "Barbershop?" Well, the makers of Da Station saw them, too, and figured they could make something as good or better. Problem is nobody amongst them knew how to write dialogue. Or a plot. Or knew how to type it up on the computer. Or knew how to fix the printer once the "low ink" light came on. So the movie was pretty much a neato premise with an impressive cast that slowly falls apart due to no story. By the end, it's such a flaccid pigfuck that I'm surprised anyone showed up at the last day.



























And with all hip hoppers, it always ends in violence (did white guys write this?).


(Click to play)
$5 to anyone who can decipher what these two guys are mumbling.









So by this point, the filmmakers were throwing pretty much everything against the wall to make the movie interesting. One of the things they threw was a Miss Big Booty '96 pageant full of more terrible stereotypes! Yay!


(Click to play)





When you're writing a comedy ("urban" or not), I understand that you often have to create broad characters and situations to get the funny. But to have two types of characters: the jackass clown and the straight, boring one who isn't a jackass clown, you're just being lazy.

Overall grade: F