Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of August 10

The following hashtags were so unpopular, they made whoever used them lose 99% of their followers and gave them irritable bowel syndrome. Feel free to use these in your own Twittersphere communiques:

#robinthicketix

#comicsansresume

#gangrapebloopers

#hospicekarateclub

#supersoakerfullofbile

#biscuitwarmingbuttcheeks

#weirdthingbetweenmytesticles

#enjoyingFullHouseunironically

#irritablebowelsyndromehereicome

The Force Is Weak With This One

When you're a big Star Wars fan like me, you tend to order Star Wars crap however you can. So when you have something awesome sent to your house, like a full suit of Stormtrooper armor or a glowing lightsaber with a tooled aluminum handle, you're bound to get put on some mailing lists and inevitably receive junk mail for lame Star Wars crap. Like this from the Hawthorne Village Collectibles:


No, your eyes do not deceive you. That's a Star Wars-themed old time style locomotive. So when they said "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away," they meant in the 1800's in Great Britain.

But did they do cheesy airbrushed murals on the side of trains back then? I don't know, but if this train is a rockin', gas ass or grass- nobody rides for free.






And just in case you were wondering, yes, there actually is a train in the Star Wars universe. The below video is from the N64 game "Rogue Squadron "Rescue On Kessel" level, and it actually has a train on tracks that you're supposed to defend. But the train floats midair, so that's totally Star Wars-like and not lame.



I look forward to seeing other anachronistic technologies in the Star Wars universe like hover rickshaws and laser lean-to's.

UAG

Some People Just Don't Read.

Since moving to Jersey, we've had a ton of boxes in the basement. So my wife posted a Craigslist ad on Tuesday that there would be free boxes on the curb that weekend:


Within hours, she received lots of responses, but much to her chagrin, most of the respondents hadn't somehow read the ad. I mean, it's pretty straightforward– location and time, what's to misunderstand? A lot. Who knew Craigslist was a cesspool of illiterates unclear on basic details?

Respondent 1:

Date: Thursday, September 17, 2009, 7:45 AM

Hello,

Are
the boxes still
available.

Please call me for
pickup.

Thx

Zach

Grade: F. Zach failed to grasp the very basic information about the boxes being available ON THE WEEKEND. Plus his lack of question marks makes him seem suspicious.



Respondent 2:

Date: Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 3:39 PM

Are the
boxes and packing
material still available? I have a friend that lives in
(town) that would be
able to pick them up for me. Thanks.

Jean

Grade: F. Jean also gets a failing grade, but only because she was copying off of Zach. Eyes on your papers, people.




Respondent 3:

Date: Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 12:19 AM

Where is (town)?
I would like to take them off your hands but if you are too
far it would not be a green move for me. Trying to stay in a
radius close to home for conservation reasons. so let me
know where you are please. and thanks for posting the boxes.

Ruth


Grade: F-. Jean gets several points for trying to save the earth but more points off for being at a goddamn computer and not thinking to Google "(town)." People that stupid shouldn't drive anyway. RUTH.



Respondent 4:

Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 11:19 AM

Hello there,

I can pick them all anytime today..
What's ur location?
I will be driving from jersey city( journal square)

Let mr know asap
My contact-201XXXXXXX
Thanks
S.M.

Grade: F--. S.M. combines the flaws of Zach, Jean and Ruth into a perfect storm of dumb. Read the godforsaken ad, son. Shit!




Respondent 5:

Tuesday, September 15, 2009, 2:12 PM

hi there...i am in need of bubble wrap to make some
halloween costumes. my son, who is 9, has this
character he invented called "captain joy" where he uses
bubble guns (aka: joy pumps) as his vehicle to spread joy
throughout the boroughs (mainly brooklyn and
manhattan)!! it's super cute!! so this year for
halloween, we are making a full "captain joy" get-up!!
it will be a light-up bubble wrap tuxedo of sorts. i
am going to make a complimentary bubble wrap dress to be his
co-captain:) so we need a good amount that is in large
pieces to make the cuts. if you have some that you
think would be workable and wouldn't mind me coming by to
pick it up earlier, that would be greatly
appreciated!! thanks....stephanie and captain joy :)

Grade: N/A. We're really not sure what to make of this. Should we contact Child Protective Services? That kid's going to grow up to either be a Tony award winner or a serial killer. Maybe both. Nice going, Stephanie. And use your shift key once in a while. :(

So the big day (or weekend) rolls by...