Spotted in South Orange

A bench in front of Stop & Shop:

What happened here?

What is that orange smudge on the bench?

Where's the rest of the trombone?

Hello? 

HIGH BACK TASK CHAIR HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU

LISTEN UP PUSSIES

PUT DOWN THE PEN YOU'RE STICKING UP YOUR VAGINA, CUZ THIS SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL

HIGH BACK DESK CHAIR IS HERE TO BOTH SUPPORT YOUR WEAKLING BACK AND HELP YOU GET SHIT DONE, SON.

WITH ADJUSTABLE ARMRESTS AND NEWLY-ADDED LUMBAR SUPPORT, THE AMOUNT OF SHIT YOU CAN GET ACCOMPLISHED JUST QUINTUPLED, YOU SAGGING, FAILING COCKSUCKERS.



MESH BACK, CHECK.

ADJUSTABLE HEIGHT, CHECK.

TILT BACK FUNCTION? YES, BUT FUCK THAT SHIT. YOU ARE GOING TO BE GOING WHITE-KNUCKLE SERIOUS WITH THE AMOUNT YOU'RE SCRATCHING OFF YOUR TO DO LIST. FUCKING KILL THAT STACK OF TIMESHEETS. FUCKING DECIMATE THOSE EXPENSE REPORTS. FUCKING FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK OUT OF THAT BUDGET SPREADSHEET. GODDAMN, WHAT A RUSH, RIGHT? THAT SHIT FEELS GOOD, GETTING ALL THAT SHIT SERVED.

HIGH BACK WILL CATCH YOU WHENEVER YOU GO, "FUCKING SNAP, LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT I JUST GOT DONE!" AND GET BLOWN TO THE BACK OF YOUR OFFICE SPACE. HIGH BACK TASK CHAIR HAS GOT YOUR BACK AND YOUR ASS, YOU FUCKING SNIVELING CUNTRAG.

BE A MAN AND FUCKING PARK YOUR HIPS IN THIS SHIT. GET SHIT DONE. DONE.

Quick Blogger's Note

David will be on vacation starting Monday and will probably be away from a computer, so he has taken the steps to "front-load" next week's EADJ entries. If all goes well, the entries should post daily and on schedule. If not, you may want to read any one of the other 879,334,233,178,544,3843,537,801,201,276 blogs on the Internet.