Porn is a booming business. And you, a young runaway with dreams of making it big in L.A., have found that you could be a big, rich porn star if only you had the right name. We at EADJ have some available names for you, but they're not the best in the world. But they're not taken. So go for it:
So, yesterday Andrew and Michelle guessed what some bands sounded like based on the album artwork. Here we evaluate how well they guessed in a little EADJ listening party.
Album #1: "It's Hard To Be A Diamond In A Rhinstone (sic) World" by Blood On the Dance Floor Track: "Save the Rave"
Michelle and Andrew had both used the word "slinky" to describe the music. Uncanny!
Andrew: "Yep, slinky sounds are definitely there. Chipmunking it up. Sounds like horses dry heaving. I was spot on with this one."
Album #2: "It's Always Gully In Philadelphia, Season 3" by Various
Track: "Gun You Down Tonight" by Cassidy
Michelle had assumed too much about this one. She was somehow thinking this would be socially conscious rap, sort of Arrested Development meets N.W.A. But Andrew being the hip-hop connoisseur that he is (he just saw the Rock The Bells show on the west coast), detected something more expected. Also, maybe the bullet holes tipped him off.
Album #3: "Demo" by Slow Motion Noise
Track: "Hope and a Reason (Demo)"
Michelle: "Awful Autotune! So terrible and derivative... I never would have gone that way with them."
Andrew: "Couldn’t listen to more than 20 seconds. Makes me think of that picture of those 20 extra tan jersey douchebags at the club."
Album #4: "Hooked On Ebonics" by Radiobaghdad
Track: "Poor Flipper"
Both Andrew and Michelle were thrown by the artwork on this one. So much that they guessed an entire genre off.
Andrew: "Wow, was I off. Not jamerican in any way. Not homophobic either. I think he said something about whales or manatees, which deserves points. In short, rawr rawr rawr."
Michelle: "Yeah. I was totally off on that one. It's way more punk..."
Album #5: "Beat Kids" by Beat Kids
Track: "Who The Fuck Is Joey Fenton?"
Andrew: "Voice sounds like poop. Typical guitars. Seems like they want to be an odd Matchbox 20-Rancid mash up. Nast."
Michelle: "Actually, the Beat Kids one sounds a lot like I thought it would..."
Album #6: "The Undislodgable Nugget Scenario" by Super Fun Happy Slide
Track: "Revenge of the Afterstench"
Michelle: "I love the name Revenge of the Afterstench! And that it sounds like a bullfrog puking!"
Andrew: "My biggest regret in life may be that I never reviewed this previously to match up with what I write here. They are fucking beastly. Literally, I think it is a horde of mammals with tails and matted fur."
