UAG

A Few More Unused, Terrible Porn Names

Okay, so you've run away from home, quit your job at Qdoba, packed two tank tops and a tube of toothpaste in a gym bag and jumped on a Greyhound to the Valley to make it big as an adult film star. But you forgot two important things: your dental dam and a marketable PORNSTAR NAME!

Well, we at EADJ are here to provide you with a name you can be proud of as you either ejaculate on a stranger or have a stranger ejaculate on you. Here are two helpful lists (hers and his) that you can consider for your next big break in the biz:

HER:

Urethra Franklin (courtesy of Emily Kane)

Ureter Moreno

Sarah Draftinhere

Tits Romney

Pisstina Applegape

Humpkin Spice Twattay

Anna Tomicallycorrect

Phyllis Holerighthere

Alluva Cox

Lilly Hammered

Betty Cumsfirst

HIM:

Junk Dilla

Tucker Boner

Jack Kinghoff Yurdad

Takina Dumpf

Insurance Claude

Jean-Michele Scrota

Pvt. Partz

Phil Anderer

Otto Correct

Bruce D. Ego

Reck Tal

Darius Fucker

We Don't Really Need Another Off-Brand TP Roundup, Do We?

Just a small one, then? Fine.

Brand: Blue Ribbon

Label: A blue ribbon, duh.

Feels Like: Sprinkling sand on a lathe and then straddling it.

Brand: Unknown white label brand

Label: Picture of a polar bear skeeting cocaine onto a giant tooth

Feels Like: Rutting a pine cone whilst riding a bumpy luge.

Brand: Greenlane

Label: Green disco lettering

Feels Like: Hiding the Necronomicon between your ass cheeks.

Four Sets Of Words That Could Easily Be Somebody's Name

EADJ Fashion Roundup

 

Overburdened by two heavy black bags? Why not pass the burden on to two four inch heels? Fuck 'em.

 

 What's crazier than cutting off your ear and sending it to a prostitute? That tie.

 

 

 So this guy is not only riding on the train, he's wearing a jacket with a patch WITH A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT.

 

A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. Oops. That overflowed onto this one. This girl wore such a short skirt to Panera Bread, the rolls nearby rose from the yeast.

 

Click on this photo to enlarge. Now look at that woman's expression. Exactly, lady.

 

If you're gonna be top-heavy with a bag and sweater on top of six inch heels in the subway, hell yeah, you better stand in the center of the platform.

 

Obama. AC/DC. Together. Finally. For some reason. Now.

 

"Doug, since you're going to such an important meeting, you really should wear that nice suit. And we're not talking just one ponytail cinch. This is a big meeting, so wear two to really dress up."

 

Rome reople really rink rey ran ralk raround Rew Rork Rity ressed rike Raggy rom Rooby-Doo, rut rey are rerribly ristaken. Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!

 

 "Where's the other pink armadillo-and-radiator sock to match this pink armadillo-and-radiator sock? Fuck it, I'll wear black socks, but it won't look right."