Smecial Dreams Entry

Here Are Your Job Numbers For April 10, 2025

From: accounting@company.net

Sent: April 10, 2025

To: ALL_Company

Subject: Updated job numbers for timesheets

Hello team!

Since our billing system went tits up last week, we've had to rebuild the job folders and have applied new job numbers to both tasks you have going and new ones for this week. Regardless of status, please use these new job numbers moving forward:

_______________

29771: Bitching about hybrid working

92104: Finding all your meeting invites in the SPAM folder

01186: Checking your balls for lumps in a meeting

64662: Checking your co-worker's breasts for lumps in a meeting

44057: Collating your elaborate Bachelorette Party invites that you printed on the company printer

34031: Gagging after smelling your own feet

62376: Surrendering to the bacchanal that is the Zoom call Happy Hour

LinkedIn Update

Announcement: New Perks of the AMC Stubs Membership

Movie theaters are finding new ways to get and keep audiences coming back, and the AMC Stubs Rewards program is one of the successful ones, mainly because of the wealth of benefits that joining the club offers. Here are a few of the newest additional perks:

• At every Marvel movie premier, we will expose you to massive amounts of radiation to turn you into a superhero.

• If you don't like the writing of any movie, you can shout "BAD WRITING!", and our dedicated staff of writers will figure out a new scene for you on the spot.

• Sometimes we'll put fully shelled Kola nuts in your popcorn, just to keep you on your toes.

• During screenings of Oscar contenders, we will hire someone to sit next to you and poke you to make sure you stay awake.

• If she's around, actress Madeline Stowe will answer any questions you may have about any movies that have her in it (no autographs or photos please).