Yet More Unused, Terrible Porn Names

Wanna have a lucrative and long-lasting career in the porn industry? Well, first you're going to need a memorable alias– aka a new porn name. Most of the good ones are taken, but we scrounged up a few that were lying around because they're terrible, but help yourself:

HER:

Alopecia

Crotchtina Vibram

B. Donna Bratt

Amber Crombie & Fist

Jill Dough

HIM:

Helmut Polisher

Halal Kabobs

Hamster Dan

Otto Correct

Kidd Proquo

Joel of all trades. Master of dick.

Joel didn't do much today. Except his whites in the warm cycle. And eat dick. He's eagerly awaiting a phone call from Paramount Studios, who have apparently taken interest in his script about a skinny copywriter who eats dick and cries during "Grey's Anatomy." The working title is called "Atkins Moonshine & Dick." Johnny Depp, Casper Van Dien, and Joel Thomas have already expressed interest.

(pictured above, the rarest of photos: Reception still open at 5:40 pm)