The VidCon Guests: UPDATED!

The Internet's biggest gathering of content creators and influencers is next week, and here are the newest additions to the already packed guest list:

• Logan Paul, Mr. Beast and KSI will be handing out boxes of their shitty unsold Lunchly meals to anyone who doesn't resist

• Harmony Patel will show you how to cook her famous TikTok Tikka Masala

• 4 year old Justin Bieber impersonator Jesse Breebs will sing an extended 10 minute version of "Baby"

• Police will arrest twenty 4chan users live in Hall C

• OnlyJayus will publicly rebrand herself as DEIUnityWokeSistah

• Prank content creators Laphy and the Boom will cause the tragic death of all 450 guests in the main auditorium

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Spot A Fake N95 Mask

The CDC warns that up to 60% of N95 masks on the market are fakes and are not up to federal quality standards. Here's how to tell if a mask sold as an N95 is legitimate:

1) The listing is misspelled or uses poor grammar

2) The seller is listed as "Sexybitch788Suckaz"

3) Real N95 masks always have the manufacturer name, NIOSH (Occupational Safety and Health) written on it, the model and a TC number which is the number issued to the manufacturer from NIOSH.

4) The seller accepts Visa, Mastercard and "back rubs" as payment

And speaking of back rubs, I once drove an older woman in my limo, and she somehow thought that I came with the fare she paid– like she could take advantage of me sexually. I dropped her off at the corner.

Stay safe, kids!

Who Knew Dwarf Planets Had a Help Line?

Not really. It's an ingenious system that replaces those gunky, germy audio tour devices that tour groups used to use, now at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C. Now you can use your cell phone to hear more info on stuff! Those rocket scientists are smart.

EADJ readers can now call from their own phone now to hear more about exhibits that they're not standing in front of!

I randomly punched in some codes and found these items:

5# Hubble Space Telescope backup mirror

21# Armillary Sphere

26# Infrared light

30# Uranus and Neptune missing from model

65# Lindsay Lohan's career path (chart and model)

Concrete Was Scared By A Goose.

Concrete was scared by a goose.


Manhole cap did nothing to help him.


Potpourri burner was appalled.


Elevator corner was angry.


Hand dryer didn't give a shit.


Dog sweater didn't understand what the big deal was.


Slippers yelled at him for not being brave enough.


Loaf of bread fell asleep.


Then next thing you know, concrete got scared by a crane.