UAG

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of August 21

Twitter is shit. But even shit has shittier shit at the bottom. So here's some unusable shit in your shitty shit Twitter shitter feeds:

#spanxdebt

That's it.

UAG

Somehow It's Time Again To Play "Which Can, Erickson?"

(click to enlarge)

Match the toilets with their location. The icon of different type of cloud has been included as a hint for you meteorologically inclined:

• Rio Restaurant, Union NJ (Cumulus)

• SeaWorld, Orlando FL (Cumulonimbus)

• NJ Transit Train (Altocumulus)

• Red Lobster, Laurel MD (Stratus)

• Hamilton on Broadway, Richard Rodgers Theatre, NYC (Cirrus)

• Tijuana Picnic, NYC (Stratocumulus)

The answers will be posted tomorrow! Good luck!

Here Are Your Job Numbers For February

Hey guys

Sorry to be the bad guy, but Donovan in accounting is really riding me to get everyone to fill out their timesheets by EOD today, and you know how it is- if we can't bill 'em, they can't pay us! So PLEASE take a moment to find your job number in the following list, fill out your timesheets and notify me ASAP (and remember, you have to hit 'SUBMIT' for it to register!)!

Don't make me stalk you guys!

----------------

93473 - Kicking ass (without taking names)

89821 - Arguing that ALL LIVES MATTER

18330 - Eating KFC cole slaw

66289 - Pretending to know who Chrissy Teigan is

01192 - Checking Tinder while masturbating

47331 - Blowing your nose into a wig

83228 - Finding the good in people

54341 - Trying to find a word to rhyme with "Hannity" for a rap

18214 - Doing drop sets

91116 - Explaining "Damn Daniel" to anyone over 30

44417 - Sampling heroin

03403 - Being an inspiration for young girls and women everywhere

10932 - Reheating stew

Still MORE Taglines To A Terrible Movie I Will Never See... Okay, I *Might* See It.

UAG

"Yay!"

Hey, you little kids. You wanna have some real fun and learn something about science at the same time? No? Well, listen to this pitch anyway, you little shits.

Thanks to Creative Kids Inc., now can have your own AMAZING VOLCANO in your room or garage or basement. Now you can "erupt" your own "volcano."

See the amazing "eruptions" of "molten lava" shoot out of your "amazing" volcano with the help of a hand pump, but remember to put on your cheap pair of eye protection, because that "lava" will scald your eyeballs blind. "Seriously."

"Amaze" your "friends" with this impressive "science experiment," which you can totally submit as a project at the next school science fair and get a "D" for.

Then later, you can "wonder" why your parents hate you so much that they buy you useless, nonscientific "crap" like AMAZING VOLCANO from the Discovery Store. Maybe so they don't have to spend any "time" with you. They hate you, you know.