The ProofrEADJer: Mid-November Edition

What In the Fart?

Spotted on FB: a t-shirt design that I swear doesn't make any sense:

Snoopy and Michael Jackson? WTF?

While Peanuts and MJ both have pretty big fan bases, respectively, I can't imagine who would want a shirt with both of them on it. There are like no lyrics or songs of his that mention Peanuts or Snoopy or anything related to angst-ridden, precocious kids with giant sphere heads.

The only connection I can guess is the terrible one with the allegations of Michael Jackson and children. But who would want to wear a shirt with THAT?

 

The Newest Perks of an AMC Stubs Rewards Membership

AMC has enjoyed a surge of new memberships to its Stubs program, thanks to the constant updating of new benefits for cardholders. Here are the latest new offerings for new and current Stubs members:

• Free "Smurfs" popcorn bucket from last year. We're trying to get rid of them.

• Complimentary lap-crumb-removal service at all AMC dine-in theaters

• Nicole Kidman will briefly sit with you to say "Even heartbreak feels good in a place like this."

• You like Takis? We'll have Stuart get you some Takis!

• Special vibrating seat that says "VA VA VOOM!" every time Jacob Elordi appears on screen

• Hey, you on your betting app during the movie. Shut that shit off.

• Close captioning for stupid people

• Free Dag Nasty CD we found in Theatre 3

• Special upgrade to IMAX 70mm, Dolby Surround Sound 3D screening of that terrible "Animal Farm" movie

• We'll make you a custom XL popcorn bucket if you've got 45 hours to wait for the 3D print

An Open Letter To Reese's

Hey Reese's. How's it going. 

I heard that news item about you guys changing the ingredients of some Reese's to contain less chocolate, and a bunch of people, including the grandson of the Reese's inventor, had a problem with the recipe change.

And I've noticed lately that Reese's cups seem more waxy, cheap tasting, and grosser, so I stopped buying them.

But in April, you announced that you'll go back to the recipe in 2027, which is great, but I'm not waiting 2 years for goddamned peanut butter cups.

So you can launch all the new crazy versions of Reese's cups: Reese's Marshmallow, Reese's Big Cup, Reese's OREO, whatever. But until you change that recipe back, a lot of us are gonna just eat peanut butter out of the jar.

Thanks, 

EADJ 

Spotted at a Construction Site in Maplewood

Apparently, all construction workers are required to wear antichrist ceremonial robes.

Let's Buy Up All the Rare Copies of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Mig: Meta AI thinks a dumb chat he saved as his profile pic would make for a great tattoo.

Shit. Maybe it would.

UAG