The Mexican Pizza and the McRib Meet the KFC Chizza

MP: Check it out, McRib.

M: What the hell is that?

C: Hey fellas! I'm the new KFC Chizza!

MP: Oh, I get it. Pepperoni and mozzarella on top of chicken. A Chizza.

C: Exactly! I'm chicken and pizza!

M: Nice portmanteau.

MP: Yeah, cute. But you're not really pizza. You're not on pizza dough.

C: Well, neither are you. You're a pair of big crackers. And your cheese isn't even mozzarella.

M: He's got you there, Mexican "Pizza".

MP: Shut up.

M: So, Chizza, are they buying a lot of you?

C: I'm doing respectable. Some chicken purists are offended by the pepperoni on top of chicken, though.

M: Fuck purists.

MP: Yeah, fuck 'em. If no one pushed boundaries, I'd never had been created.

M: Me neither. Here's to innovation!

C: Hear hear!

MP: You guys wanna grab a bite? I'm starving.

M: I could go for a Waldorf salad, frankly.

C: Oooh, that sounds GREAT.

Things You Can Expect A Guy With a Giraffe Guitar To Say To You

"I see you've noticed my giraffe guitar. Do you like music?"

"No, this wasn't made from a real giraffe. What am I, a monster?"

"When I play live, I'm on the elephant guitar, but I prefer to practice on this."

"Wanna go back to my place and share a grape juice box?"

"I wrote this song when I was really bored in line with my Mom at the bank."

"I'm headlining at Coachella next year."

"Please don't request 'Old McDonald Had A Farm.' I get that all the time."

"I really love the sharp, bright acoustic sound of the Fisher-Price, but when I want bassier, clean tones with more pickup configuration and a tremolo bridge with wild string-bending action, I can't go wrong with the VTech Zoo Jamz." 

"I wanted to finish playing this four-part arrangement for you, but I just went boom-boom in my pants."