It's Time For "He Said, She Said, Mrs. Nakashima Said!"

Okay, here's how this new EADJ segment works. It's a lot like that new shitty NBC show "The Marriage Ref," but instead of scripted responses from celebrity judges, the verdict of who won an argument between two spouses is determined by the forged responses to a fictional Japanese woman whose photo I stole from a newspaper. Ready? Let's play!

The other month the Estoyes received this flyer from a local accountant:


The wife said she would never use that accountant because of his poor penmanship (see the scrawled address) and sloppy presentation.


The husband countered that this was proof of the CPA's frugality and even pointed out the "Christmas Card" postage that the accountant had repurposed to demonstrate his resourcefulness. The wife stated flatly that that was proof that the accountant was just SLACK.


And what does Mrs. Nakashima say on the matter?


"When a cherry blooms, the leaves often fall before their time. Accountant using Christmas stamp does show that he saves money. But United States Postal Service usually does not deliver a letter without the full address and should have returned it to the sender! Accountant risked wasting a First Class stamp just because he's too lazy or disorganized to fill out the full address. Also, a large mailing should have used the 'bulk mail' rate to really save the sender some money. Accountant gets points for mailing out so early before tax day, but his flyer is total crap. The wife wins this argument!"

(picks up a microphone)

♫ Strangers in the night...exchanging glances
Strangers in the night...what are the chances
We'd be sharing love...before the night was throuuuuuuugggghhhh...♫"


Motherfucker. Oh well. Mrs. Nakashima calls it like she sees it. FUCK!

An Interview With the 4 Ladies In That Old "Haulin' Ass" Poster

Most men who grew up in the 80's remember the "Haulin' Ass" poster. Some had it hanging on their wall or basement, and some had seen it for sale at their local Spencer's Gifts Store. This enduring classic from 1986 depicting four bikini'd women in high heels standing in the bed of a truck with the caption "Haulin' Ass" has recently been inducted into the new poster archive section of the Library of Congress. EADJ tracked down the four women who posed in this perennial favorite in four retrospective interviews.


Barbara Cassidey, 40, Gym Manager
"Yeah, I remember that shoot. It was a mild August afternoon in Taylor, Michigan, which is just outside of Detroit. A good friend of mine knew the photographer and volunteered me. I thought it was for a commercial or a movie, so I got my hair and face made up. But then they told me to just show my ass. Kind of lame. The guy didn't even clean the truck."


Deborah Galveston, 43, Financial Advisor at The U.S. Department of Labor
"Shit. This is what you're interviewing me for? A 22-year old photo? Goddamn, I've moved on. I've built a fucking life and a fucking family and shit. Motherfucking poster that I never got paid for, cheap-ass asshole photographer snaps a picture of my ass, and I never hear from him again. Fuck. You know what? Fuck you. Get out."


Candace Bettermin, 39, Radio Promoter, (Deceased)
Unfortunately, Candace Bettermin passed away in 2006 from injuries sustained in an accident at a promotional event for a local radio station in Wichita, Kansas. An oversized fiberglass tooth fell on Bettermin as she was swinging from a chain below it. She was wearing the pink bikini and heels that had made her so famous.


Maya Angelou, 80, Poet and Activist
"Yes, few people realize that I was the fourth girl in that famous photo. I was 58 at that time, can you believe that? It's funny. I was in town for a book signing of my latest collection of poems, "All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes," and my agent had told me she'd scheduled an additional appearance in an alley behind a Fuddrucker's. I was hesitant but once I put on those heels, I knew it was a good thing. Why, years later, I wrote a poem about the experience. I think it was called either Welcoming The Sun Into Your Arms or Exposing My Ass In The Back Of Someone's Ford F-150. I forget which."

Copies of the "Haulin' Ass" poster are still on sale at Amazon under the title "Women In Truck," although if you look closely at the title of the webpage window, it's under the category "Kitchen & Dining."

Let's Watch the EADJ Mail Sack Unload Groceries From the Minivan Without Helping!

Submitted by Phil Flicklicker, a splendid Jerald Photoshop tribute.



Disturbingly, this was sent last night at 12:37am.

*Editor's note* The very first EADJ Mail Sack submission was from Phil. And a hockey-related one at that!