A Minor News Hiccup

The other night on CBS 2 News, Kristine Johnson was reading some fluff piece while the video was playing onscreen and started having a coughing fit. The camera cut back to the news desk, and our girl Kristine was downing some filtered vodka water.

She quickly recovered, apologized and finished the segment. With absolutely no help from Maurice Dubois (it means "of wood"), thank you very much.

And since we're on the subject, here are some photos of women that kind of look like Kristine Johnson:

Maurice and Kristine: Network Promotional Whores

J'Net brought this to my attention yesterday: CBS 2 is promoting NFL Thursday Night Football and they got the contractually obligated news anchors Kristine Johnson and Maurice Du Bois (it means "of wood") to dress up and "have fun with it." And they tried.

Looks like Kristine drew the line at wearing a ruffled cheerleader miniskirt. And it looks like Maurice said "Hell no" and simply changed his tie to a gold one.

I'm not entirely understanding the glowing tip of the football. What does that remind me of? Oh, right.

RUN, MAURICE! COVER YOUR FACE!

Here's Maurice cutting loose.

Here's Kristine thinking about what time she had to pick up her dry cleaning before they closed.

Vince's Uncle Rico In Legal Trouble

This morning before posting another bullshit entry, I got this notice on Blogger:

What was the offending entry that violated the Digital Millennium Copyright Act? This one from November 28 of last year that explained how to forward a personal check:

Now, truth be told, pretty much every Uncle Roberto entry is a lazy cut-and-paste job from another how-to website. So it's interesting that something so mundane as the particular wording of how to forward a check could be considered copyright-protected. Okay, whatever.

Here now is the legally adjusted entry.

You Make Me Feel Like... I've Been Locked Out of Racist Appliances...

The Use of Dubstep Music in Advertising, An Essay Brought To You In Part By Utz

Utz Utz Utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz Utz, utz utz utz utz utz utz- utz utz- utz, utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz, utz utz utz? Utz. Utz/utz utz utz utz Utz U.tz utz utz utz (u)tz utz utz utz: utz Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz UTz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utzutz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz.

• utz
• Utz
• UTZ

Utz utz utz (utz utz utz utz) utz utz, utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz! (Utz utz utz) utz utz utz utz utz utz utz + utz utz utz utz; utz utz utz Utz UTZ utz utz utz utz utz Utz, Utz utz utz  utz utz Utz, utz utz utz  utz utz Utz, utz utz- utz utz Utz, utz utz utz  utz utz Utz, UTz utz utz  utz utz Utz, utz. UTZ utz utz utz utz Utz, utz utz utz  utz utz Utz, utz utz utz?

Utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz Utz Utz utz utz Utz, UTZ utz utz... utz utz "Utz Utz" utz “Utz Utz utz utz” utz utz utz utz UTZ utz uTz uTz uTz, utz... utz utz utz utz utz Utz Utz utz utz. Utz! Utz utz utz utz & utz! Utz utz utz utz utz = utz. Utz:utz utz utz utz, utz utz Utz UTZ utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz.. utz utz utz Utz (U)tz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz utz [utz utz utz x utz utz utz] utz utz utz, utz utz, utz utz; utz utz, utz utz; utz utz utz utz utz; utz utz utz, utz, utz, utz; utz utz utz utz, utz utz, utz utz, utz, utz utz utz utz utz, utz; Utz utz utz *utz utz utz utz utzutz, utz utz, utz utz Utzutz, utz Utz-utz utz utz utz.

Utz utz utzutz utz [utz utz utz? utz utz utz] utz utz utz, utz utz, utz -utz; utz utz, utz utz; utz utz utz utz utz; utz utz, utz utz; utz utz utz utz utz; utz utz utz, utz, utz, utz; utz utz utz utz, utz utz, utz utz, utz, utz utz utz utz utz, utz; Utz utz utzUtz utz utz utz utz (utz utz utz utz utz) utz utz utz, utz utz, +utz utz; utz utz, utz utz; utz/utz utz utz utz; utz utz utz, utz, utz, utz; utz utz utz utz, UTzutz utz, utz utz, utz, utz utz utz utz utz, utz; Utz utz utz utz utz x utz utz utz utz utz utz, utz utz, utz utz; utz utz, utz utz; utz utz utz utz utz; utz utz utz, utz, utz, utz; utz utz utz utz, utz utz, utz utz, utz, utz utz utz utz utz, utz; Utz utz utz:

• utz utz utz utz utz utz utz

• UTz utz utz utz utz!

• Utz

• u

• t

• z

• (¨†Ω)

• UTZ----------------------------- utz

UTZ

UTZ  utz utz utz utz utz! Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz UTZ UTZ utz utz utz utz UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ utz UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ

UTZ UTZ

UTZ utz

UTZ UTZ

Utz

utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz  Utz utz Utz utz utz utz UTz utz utzutz utzUtz UTZ UTZ utz utz utz utz utz utz utzutz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ utz utz UTZ utz Utz UTZ UTZ Utz uTZ uTZ uTZ uTZ utz; utz utz Utz utz utz

UTZ UTZ UTZ utz utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz

(U)Tz utz utz utz utz utz UTz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz Utz Utz utz utz UTZ UTZ UTZ!!!!!!!!! utz utz utz Utz???!?!?!?!??! Utz?!?!??!?!?! UTz?!?!?!??!!?!? UTZ @utz.utz.

Utz utz utz utz UTz utz utz. utz----- Utz----- Utz

UTZ	'utz"
┌─┐ ┌┬┐ [UTZ UTz UTz UTZ UTZ UTZ] │ │ ├┼┤ [UTZ utz utz = utz/utz•U(utz utz)] └─┘ └┴┘

Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz UTz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utzutz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz UTZ utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utzutz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utzutz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utzutz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utzutz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. 

UTz utz utz utz utz!~utz utz utz utzzzz utzzzz utzzzzzz uuuuuutzzz uuuuuutz uuuuuuutz uuuuuuuuuutz utz utttttz utttttz utttttz utz utz Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz% utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz. 

UTZ  $utz utz ut'z utz utz! Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz UTZ UTZ utz utz utz utz UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ utz UTZ, UTZ UTZ UTZ... UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ, UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz Utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ utz UTz UTz Utz uTZ uTZ uTZ utz utz. Utz utz utz ut'z utz utz utz utz utz: utz utz utz & utz utz utz, utz utz utz utz

* utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz utz

Well, My Curiosity's Cured.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Let me start off by saying that this entry is probably NOT SAFE FOR WORK. I've tried censoring out lots of the sordid parts of certain screens, but overall the content of this entry is best left away from your cubicle or Jamba Juice register.

I was walking past a construction site by my apartment and happened to spot something beyond the fence.


There were several DVDs lying on the ground. Cool! So my natural curiosity and cheapness motivated me to fetch the free movies.





Okay, so it was Japanese porn. But just for shits and giggles, let's pop it in and have a look see. The first disc, named "J Premium" was your standard porn fare...uh, or so Brad Harvey tells me.




The other DVD, named "Costume Play" is the one that made me later skip my dinner and question the basic decency of my fellow man.









She's not really gonna, is she? Oh. Yes, she is. Great. Fantastic.


It didn't take long for me to eject the DVD and rush back to the construction site to return the foul discs back to their original place. I sort of felt like that guy who discovers the singing frog in that old Bugs Bunny cartoon, except with more enemas and tiny penises. Origato, but no origato.

Click the movie to play. No, it's not that movie.