Whitney Houston's Fictional Husband Greg Finally Responds To Her Lyrics from "The Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
how them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Wait. You're leaving? When were you going to tell me?! I know we've had some rough patches lately, but you've gone and just abandoned me with the kids all by myself? And when I have that IT conference in Dallas next month? Goddammit.

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

Well, our kids need someone to look up to, but I guess it's not going to be their gallivanting mother. Who's going to take Vanessa to softball now when I'm working late? Christ, this is all I need right now, with the merger and upcoming layoffs. I wish you just had an affair like normal people. 

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

No one can take away your dignity. Well, that's just great. Meanwhile the bank is eventually going to take away our house since we have only one income from now on. This is really inconvenient, Whit.

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

Oh I see. You've stopped taking your meds, right?

Fringe Backdrop

Fringe rhymes with cringe.

Let's Install An Old 6-CD Changer In The Back of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Emily Kane:

I don't know what to make of this either, dear reader.

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Time to cash out." *shoots stupid gun*

(dialogue muffled because the low budget sound is so bad)

"What? I don't do that shit. If you wanted a nut log, you should've gone to a Stuckey's!"

"Hello! I'm a kid's entertainer, but at the same time I'm a contractor creating headaches for my client and running behind schedule and going over budget!"

"Your brain is raining again."

(sighs) "Sorry."

"C'mon, team! Let's hunker down and get the stuff and get this done TOGETHER!"

"What the sam fuck are you talking about, Keith?"

"The air conditioner is broken."

"Oh well. Let me drink this McFlurry and then lick your back with the M&M pieces."