FYI

Pictured below, the entirety of the salad bar at Chuck E. Cheese:

A Google+ Bonus

I made the mistake of joining Google+, and so far the benefits of this have escaped me. Until today.

I noticed something in my Google+ notices, and opened it up to find THIS:

What the fartshit? Well, you regular EADJ readers might notice that photo was from an April 1 entry named "On The Next Episode of the Lifetime Original Series 'Walkway To Parking.'"

This was Google+'s attempt at some April Fool's humor by having David Hasselhoff photobomb any photos you had uploaded that day. And I gotta say, he actually completes the tableau quite nicely. Melissa Joan Hart is essentially in the same celebrity wheel house as the Hoff. And both wish it were 1993 again when they could score a table at Sardi's.

Two interesting things I noticed from this new photo's data:

• my shit low res image is now a wondrous 1600 x 1200 wallpaper, suitable for YOUR COMPUTER NOW

• the meta-data on the Photoshopped-and-then-photobombed image STILL contained the correct information about the camera I used to shoot the background photo. Frightening!

A Message From Christina... Er, Christine Aguilera, President of SkyMall

Hi folks!

Sorry to bother you in the middle of your flight to Dallas or layover in JFK, but I just wanted to take a few seconds of your time to clarify something: I am not the Grammy winning recording artist who starred in the movie "Burlesque" with Cher and is currently a celebrity judge on NBC's popular show "The Voice." I am the President of SkyMall, and that's all!

I have often been approached on the street and asked for an autograph. Too often I've heard people excitedly say, "Sing a few bars of 'Moves Like Jagger!" or "I really loved your moving cover of Etta James' 'At Last' that you sang at her funeral!" But then I have to explain to them that I am actually the Christine Aguilera that sells The Home Electrolysis Roller (Item 79162A) or PupSTEP Stairs, the tiny plush stairs that help your pets climb onto your favorite chair or sofa (Item 321354A).



Sometimes people don't catch it the first time. They still think I'm the one who topped COVE's list of the 100 Best Pop Vocalists with a score of 50 out of 50 and came fifth in MTV's 22 Greatest Voices in Music. They're still convinced I've released six studio albums with the first one spawning three number one hits in the Billboard Top 100. I have to gently remind them that I'm Christine Aguilera, known for selling Mongolian Shearling Moccasins (Item 79458A for Men's and 79513A for Women's) or The iGrow laser scalp hair rejuvenation system, which promises "thicker, fuller looking hair in weeks- guaranteed (Item APR02A)!"

But that's okay. We're both beautiful, confident women who have succeeded in our respective field of expertise. She's got four Grammy (and one Latin Grammy) Awards, a Golden Globe nomination for Best Song and was named by Rolling Stone as one of the 100 Greatest Singers Of All Time. And I run a free airplane catalog of amazing items like the Nano-UV™ Wand, which safely kills 99.99% of bacteria and viruses in your home in 10 seconds (Item ZDH108A) or The Cast Iron Giraffe Toilet Paper Holder (Item HH8992A), only $29.95 plus shipping!




Sigh.