“Life Shrinks or Expands in Proportion To One's Pathmark.”

More Fun Facts About Strawberries and Bananas That Didn't Make It On The Back of A Box of Strawberry Banana Cheerios

 

Here now are some fun facts about strawberries and bananas that did not make the back of the packaging:

• Strawberries are related to currants but avoid them ever since the last election.

• Organic bananas are known to stay fresh for up to 10 steps after leaving the store.

• In Chad, strawberries are given as a wedding present. I dunno. I just made that up.

• Bananas still love you, but strawberries think you've changed since high school.

• Both strawberries and Michael Stipe have regrets about the song "Shiny Happy People"

• Director James Cameron would one day like to collaborate with bananas for an epic 3D movie.

Some Perks and Features That Are Being REMOVED From the AMC Stubs Rewards Program

Usually, we like to update AMC Stubs Members on all the new perks and benefits being added to their membership. But lately, due to abuse of the program, the following membership perks will be discontinued immediately:

• Ability to yell four free racial slurs at the screen per movie screening

• Free usher taintrubs

• Bonus rewards points for guessing the ending and telling everybody

• Free used nachos

• Guy making popcorn will nod as you discuss with him filmmakers like Kubrick and Buñuel

• Free pirated DVD copies of movies that have already been released on DVD and reduced to the bargain bin

• Free large "cock-corn". Don't ask.