UAG

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen

"Can't you see? I love you and want to marry you... Jen. Or is it Julie?"

"I TOLD YOU I was telling the truth? See the evidence? That PROVES it!"

"I claim all of Park Slope, Williamsburg and Greenpoint. You can have Bushwick. Eww."

"How was it?" "Not great."

"Doug, I see why you moved up here. No yard work!"

"Jingle THIS."

"Honey, we should really invest in a Nest doorbell."

(translated from sea beast) "Have you tried this? It's delicious!"

EADJ Programming Note

Announcement: despite the worldwide pandemic and lockdown, we at Eat a Dick Joel will continue to semi-regularly crank out crappy entries for the foreseeable future or until Blogger goes belly up because no one blogs anymore.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How to Host A Video Meeting on Zoom

Zoom meetings have become a vital part of work life now that the world is dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. Here's how you can host your own video meeting on the popular and now essential app:

If you do not have the Zoom app installed, go to zoom.us and select "Host a Meeting" to start the installation. If you DO have the App installed, see below.

1) Open your Zoom app on your desktop and click Sign In.

2) Log in using the E-mail and password that you have created, or with Google(Gmail), Facebook, or Login with SSO. 

3) Click the downward arrow and select Start with video, then click New Meeting to start an instant meeting.

And speaking of "instant", if you're ever riding in my limo and want to make some coffee, go ahead and help yourself to the coffeemaker. But please don't leave a friggin' mess for me to clean up hours later. Do you know how hard it is to get real cream out of floor mats? Be safe, kids.

Zack Snyder Adapts Various Stories From Highlights Magazine's "6 by Six" Hidden Pictures Section

Director Zack Snyder has been known to make gritty, dark adaptations of beloved comic properties, and why should Highlights be any different? Here are the latest projects of his in development:

"A Short Lunch"

Greg Panda and his son enjoy some bamboo-dogs in the park before murdering a panhandler who gets too aggressive.

"Back 8"

Daisy Mouse and her college boyfriend Trent play a game of miniature golf before realizing the golf ball was their dean's eyeball, yanked from his dead skull by some violent meth addicts.

"Today We Build"

Sal Sparrow and his crew complete a bird housing development, only to discover they had angered the spirits of the indigenous population that was displaced. They each die a horrible death.

"Uncle & Me On The Sea"

Scott Snail and his Uncle Stu charter a boat miles off shore until Stu reveals Scott's father robbed him of all his life savings in a gambling scheme. The water is saltwater, which is deadly for snails, and Stu pushes Scott right in as revenge.

"Catch Pups"

Donnie Dog and Terri Terrier play unnecessarily lingering, slow motion catch with a frisbee. The movie is 3 hours long.

"Away We Go"

Two unnamed elephants die from oxygen deprivation when their hot air balloon drifts too high in the mountains. Badass techno soundtrack.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

 

EADJ Program Note

 The new masthead above was supplied by the wife of JOEL HIMSELF, Jamie Gu, who is learning calligraphy. Thanks Jamie, and great job!