Here Are Your Timesheets For This Week (DUE EOD TODAY!)

Hello

This security guard Yuri from downstairs

Sorry for not speak English as hot as rest of you workers, but managerment ask me to remind every one in office to fill out sheets of time before day end. Other wise department of accounting will be un-able to "cut" a pay-check for your particular employee number.

HE SAY THIS EMPORTANT

Please see list below for list of number to use for timessheets:

TIMESSHEETS BEGIN NOW:



83485 - Knocking the hustle

28555 - Choking on bubble tea yet AGAIN

42409 - Waking up at Medieval Times with no memory of how you got there

99244 - Saying you'll drain the swamp when in fact you're making it worse with even more corrupt appointees

11135 - Deciding between a hard taco and a soft taco

29492 - Pinpointing why "Suicide Squad" sucked so much dick

83347 - Calling your friend Margaret "Maggie" for the first time to make sure it's okay

421193 - Strumming my pain with his fingers

399304 - Sharing my life with his words

441486 - Eating corn on the cob the wrong way, making you look like a goddamned slut

252009 - Checking grandma for a pulse and being disappointed

731424 - Smuggling barbiturates in your Hatchimal

UAG

Yet Still More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

NYC's rich cultural spectrum is matched only by its boundless array of nasty-ass mystery puddles. Here are the trending color palettes in the five boroughs this season:

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of January 2017

I know, I know. A certain shitty-President-to-be has cornered the market on awful tweets, so it pretty much renders this segment null as of January 20. But until then, here are the worst hashtags you can utilize in your little Twitter rant:

#koalatits

#dasvidaniyaPutin

#eroticnightterrors

#skeksisinathong

#smashmouthonvinyl

#dollarstoreheistmontage

#killingmesoftlywithhisknife

#theEverlyBrothersdickstouching

#standinginlinealreadyforthat50ShadesofGreysequel

#playingCardsAgainstHumanitywithanactualwarcriminal

The ProofrEADJer: New Year Edition!

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Display Hidden Rows and Columns At The Same Time

1) To select all cells on a worksheet, do one of the following: Click the Select All button. Press Ctrl+A.

2) On the Home tab, in the Cells group, click Format.

3) Do one of the following: Under Visibility, point to Hide & Unhide, and then click Unhide Rows or Unhide Columns.

And speaking of "hiding and unhiding," when you find the button that raises and lowers the partition to the front of my limo, please don't play with it like an idiot. The wiring breaks down easily, and remember, I do have your credit card number for the deposit. Play safe, kids.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig