It's Just One of Those Days / Where You Don't Want to Wake Up / Everything is Fucked / Pathmark Sucks

This was at Walmart and I *swear* it's real:

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Display Hidden Rows and Columns At The Same Time

1) To select all cells on a worksheet, do one of the following: Click the Select All button. Press Ctrl+A.

2) On the Home tab, in the Cells group, click Format.

3) Do one of the following: Under Visibility, point to Hide & Unhide, and then click Unhide Rows or Unhide Columns.

And speaking of "hiding and unhiding," when you find the button that raises and lowers the partition to the front of my limo, please don't play with it like an idiot. The wiring breaks down easily, and remember, I do have your credit card number for the deposit. Play safe, kids.

Vince's Uncle Roberto Explains How To Breed Horses In Minecraft

When you finally get a horse in Minecraft and bring it back to your base, you might be content for a while. However, what if your friend needs one or if yours is hurt? Or maybe you want a horse with better stats. You need to start a horse ranch and breed some more horses. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to do it:

1) Get 2 adult horses or donkeys that have not bred in the last 5 minutes. Pick them based on traits you want the offspring to have. The stats of the two parents will be averaged along with random stats of one imaginary horse. A horse and donkey can breed, resulting in a mule. However the mule will be sterile and unable to breed itself.

2) Get 2 of either: golden apple or golden carrot. Golden apples cost about 900% more gold (72 nuggets compared to 8 nuggets) than golden carrots, so golden carrots are recommended. Which one you use will not affect the offspring. Golden apples or carrots can be crafted by surrounding a carrot with gold nuggets, or an apple with gold ingots, in a workbench.

3) Feed a golden apple or carrot to both horses.

4) Wait for about a minute. Leave them alone.

5) Enjoy your new foal. It will take approximately twenty minutes for the foal to reach adulthood (if the chunk is loaded), but this can be sped up. To make the foal grow faster, feed it hay bales, wheat, sugar, apples, golden apples, and golden carrots. To make the foal instantly grow up, feed it five golden apples (20 golden ingots), or seven hay bales (63 wheat), or 60 wheat, or 64 sugar, or 24 golden carrots (21 and 1/3 golden ingots), or 20 apples. There is an intermediate stage between the foal and the adult, which looks like an adult, but you can't ride the horse yet.

And speaking of bales, I once drove the actor Christian Bale to a charity event in Jersey City. Nice guy, but he hates questions about Batman. Good tipper, though.

Stay safe, kids!

Some New Walgreens Shelf Brands Announced!

Everybody knows that Walgreens offers generic versions of many brand name items, like Wal-Dryl (for Benadryl) Wal-Tussin (Robitussin) and Wal-Tap (Dimetapp).

Here now are the latest generic 'Walgreens' versions of popular items you can expect to see on the drugstore's shelves this week:

Walsterine

Waleration-H

Wall's Mentho Lyptus

Walboro Lights

Capri-Wall Kids Drinks

Captain Wal-gan Spiced Rum

Pink Floyd's "The Wal"

Wal-der Bread

Wal HPV Home Test and Nacho Dip

Wal-BQ Sauce

Hey Now, You're A Wal-Star

The Capit-Wal One Card: "What's In Your Wal-et?"

Wal-E Cigarettes

Wal-ive Garden

Count Chocu-Wal Cereal

Mi-Wal (generic version of Midol)

Wal!