More Alternate Taglines For A Dumb Movie That Never Asked For Them

Here are some more taglines for the "Avalanche Sharks" movie poster. You're welcome.

Some Available But Terrible Names For A Journey Tribute Band

There's Departure. There's Arrival. There's Open Arms. There's both Don't Stop Believin' and DSB. There are so many tribute bands devoted to Journey that you will be hard pressed to find a song title or lyric that a tribute band hasn't claimed as their name for their gig at Molly McManus' at 10pm, $3 cover and CDs will be sold at the bar.

So what do you do if you've already formed a Journey tribute band but have no ideas for a band name? We got you. Let EADJ take over and give you a cleared list of flyer-ready monikers:

• Don't Stop Believ-ish

• Won't Stop Believin'

• Can't Stop Believin'

• Midnight Train Going Anywhere

• City Boy

• South Detroit

• Street Lights

• People, Whoaaa

• Tyler Perry's Steve Perry

• "Separate Ways, Worlds A-party" Band

• Hearts Broken In Two, Two, Two

• Eye O' The Tiger (not a Journey tribute band, actually. More for a Survivor tribute band from Ireland)

• Sort of Faithfully

• Wheel On The Stage

• AAAHHAAHHAHHHHOHHHHHHH

• Any Way You Watt It (led by someone with the last name Watt)

• Who's Crying Now That Steve Perry Has Been Replaced By That Filipino Guy

EADJ Fashion Roundup: "Brace Yourself, Winter Is Leaving" Edition

Goodbye, hideous winter coats. Hello, hideous spring ensembles.

Don regretted cutting in front of Wolverine in line to the bathroom.

Despite the fact that Grace festooned herself in a shiny gold fur-lined rain jacket and rubbers to show she had money, she still couldn't catch a cab to save her life (I guess even cabbies have taste).

Is that a furry Cinnabon, or did a giant furry falcon take a big furry dump on this woman's head? You'd think that turd would slide right off the back of that Teflon coat.

Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.

Work you cares away,
Dancing's for another day.
Let the Fraggles play,
We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red.

Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Down at Fraggle Rock.

Huey couldn't wait for spring, even though it was still only 40º outside. His feet said fuck it and decided to go out in Tevas anyways. Who needs toes, mang.

Let's Verb The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by J'Net: Which of these articles on Stayathomemoms.com is not like the others?

New York. The Most Exciting City In The World.

Spotted on the 7 Train platform at Grand Central Terminal, an abandoned banana, or "abandonana."

I ☾NY

UAG

On The Next Episode of the Lifetime Original Series "Walkway To Parking"

A showdown. A reckoning. And a chance for redemption.

Donna Parks (played by Melissa Joan Hart) discovers that the forces of evil have conspired to remove her from the Discounted Sipper list at Coffee Hut. Furthermore, Magneturtle is back and has blocked the walkway from the parking lot to the bank. MAJOR INCONVENIENCE.

But Donna has a few tricks up her sleeve. Or more likely, up her shirt. She uses her supple breasts as weapons against Magneturtle, who has never seen size C's this dangerous.

Will she prevail? Has Magneturtle met his match? Will Coffee Hut be open past 6pm as they'd promised earlier in the year? Because it's too far to walk to Ground Down, and they have pretty spotty customer service, if you ask me.

Rated MA for teenage witch tits and cartoon violence.