An Imagined Conversation

"Look at this bachelor pad. This place is a dump, and those Scandinavian liquor models are coming over any minute to take us to the Empire Hotel rooftop for some bottle service and to hang with Nikki and Paulo! Hand me the broom, Jeff."

"Broom?! Ha ha, you gotta be kidding me, Rob. We don't have a broom anymore. We're not friggin' dorks, man. We now have a Three To Tango broom, which is all about style!"

"Whoa! Look at that broad sweeper! Can it brush dirt off our bamboo floors like the old broom did?"

"You bet, Rob. It does just as good a job as any old nerdy broom. But this baby has the added bonus of cleaning with fun, festive colors and hologram glitter all over the handle and head!"

"Fuck me! That is so amazingly stylish! And look at it sweep just like a boring, unadorned broom! Look at my striped shirt!"

"And you think that stops with the broom? Oh no, my friend. You can also get a dustpan and brush that is just as stylish and cool." Every step of the sweeping up process has now been made chic and in vogue!"

"It's like we're underwear models on the catwalk now!"

"It's cool cleaning for a hip home like ours, Rob! We are sweeping in style!"

(third bedroom door opens)

"Rob, Jeff, I'm trying to sleep in here but can't because of your loud, effeminate caterwauling about 'sweeping in style.' You guys are fucking pussies. And is that my shirt?!"

A side of Tianna you never knew.

Few people know this, but Tianna used to be a State District Judge in Harris County in Houston, TX.

Back in 2005, it was she who reduced mountains of paper documents in the courtroom's docket by converting everything to digital. This decision came after Tianna found that scrolling through thousands of legal documents cut down on her ability to lick her extremely fluffy paws. Since then, the civil courts building has freed up over 40,000 square feet of storage space, allowing all new gardens of baby carrots and green sprouts to be planted there.

Tianna calmed critics by saying that judges won't have to work with digital documents if they aren't comfortable with the technology and that some paper documents will still be needed in most cases. She also snuffled and scratched her wiggly nose with her back paw before slamming the gavel at the bench.