Let's Throw Away The Leftover Fennel Bulb Bits That Vince's Uncle Roberto Left Into the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Matt S, a question about his partner Larry is answered:

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with How To Peel and Slice a Fennel Bulb

When shopping for fennel, judge its freshness based on the greens, which should appear healthy, like a well-tended plant. If the greens have been removed, examine the bulb– it should be firm, unbruised and shiny. Here now is how to peel and slice a bulb.



Step 1) Using a sharp chef's knife, slice the feathery green stalks off the top of the bulb. Reserve.





Step 2) Slice off the hard, circular base of the bulb, being careful to leave some of the root intact– it will help keep the vegetable together while you slice it.



Step 3) Run a vegetable peeler up and down the bulb, removing the tough outer layer in vertical strips. When complete, the bulb should appear mostly white with just a few light-green veins. If the fennel is not fresh, you may need to remove the rubbery outer layer to reveal moist, white flesh.





Step 4a) Align your knife with the fennel's wider axis and slice the bulb in half.








Step 4b) Using a paring knife, make a triangular incision near the bottom of each half of the bulb to remove the tough core.

Step 5) For a salad, stir-fry or coleslaw, julienne slices will work. Separate the layers of fennel and cut them in half vertically. Chop in quarter-inch intervals to produce strips.

And speaking of bulbs, when riding in the back of my limo, parents often let their kids monkey with the interior cabin lights. Please don't do that, folks; it's very difficult to change those tiny halogen bulbs with my bad back. Give your kids the DVD remote, for crying out loud.

Fake!

Video games have come so far when it comes to the graphics, controls and sheer density of the fantastic worlds that their programmers have created. Players who are immersed in video games have the ability to be anyone or do anything. Still, however, some of today's games are pushing the limits of believability.

For example, here in Sims 3, you can become friends with an ex. Friggin' right.

What I'm Thinking As I'm Riding With A Guy On A Motorcycle

• Is this gay?

• This isn't gay. Straight guys do this all the time.

• Am I holding onto him too tight?

• Am I not holding onto him tight enough?

• Am I holding onto him like I'm being all homophobic about it?

• Man, he's making me hold on tighter every time he guns it.

• I think he wants me to hold on tighter, but he's not telling me.

• Is there a way I can hold on gingerly, without being homophobic?

• Hey, what if I don't hold on at all, is that okay?

• HOLY SHIT, I could have fallen just then.

• I really shouldn't move my hands up and down like that. That's kind of sensual.

• What if a hot chick sees us. That would kind of suck.

• No it wouldn't. I'm being homophobic again. If she were an enlightened, open-minded hot chick then she would see two guys– not necessarily gay– on a motorcycle. Get over yourself.

• Wow, this guy is really ripped. He must do those crossover sit-ups.

• I should have worn a shirt.

(pictured above, a submission by Matt S, who said he was bored today)

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with The Market Watch.

Stocks today continued their slide from the previous session on worries about ailing financial firms, while concerns about the economy were also fueled by weak housing data, rising wholesale prices, and falling sales and profits at several retailers.

Also, if you're in the Boston area, and you're eating at Alinda's Deli & Catering, don't order the ham & honey wrap. I saw the girl scratch her crotch while preparing the meat this morning. Be safe.