Showing posts with label cameraphone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cameraphone. Show all posts

Friday, July 22, 2011

Use As Directed

An ad in SkyMall sells a new digital camera that you can hang or stand up to film you and your friends.


But this one use in particular piqued my interest:


Sweet! Sex tape! Looks like Jay Baruchel is getting lucky tonight!

So that photo has me wondering several things:

1) Does that (admittedly hot) girl know that her skeez boyfriend is filming them macking? Or will she find out later that footage of him tweaking her nips is now on YouPorn?

2) Is it actually her camera, and she's secretly filming them to prove that Chad Kregne is a date rapist just like the graffiti in the women's locker room says?

3) If that camera were self-aware and lonely, wouldn't this scenario be the cruelest of all fates?

Friday, June 15, 2007

Spotted: Dick

Larry and Flicklicker are the latest in a series of recent sightings of Scott Peterson's less-high more-obese twin. Here is Larry's write-up:

Yes. Flick and I had a SFVOSP spotting last night (My second of the day). Which I’m told means I have to write something about this glorious moment. But since I’m getting the sense that people are growing weary of this topic, I think I can get away with repurposing an old letter to Penthouse Forum.

Dear Penthouse Forum EADJ Editor,

I can’t believe this actually happened to me Phil and I. There I was in the Kinko’s just after midnight, we were on the escalator of the Illinois Center at 5:30, when there I saw this smoking hot cashier bent over a copier, in a sexy low-cut skirt, allowing me a view of her ass-crack. The SVSOP In ill-fitting Toughskins, which gave us a view of his ass-crack.

She stood up and she gave me a knowing smile. A smile that said we were going to fuck. The SVSOP looked at us weirdly. A look that said, “why the fuck are all these people staring at me?” We stared at each other for what seemed like hours and then she began fumbling for my jeans and the bulge in my pants I began fumbling in my pants for my cell phone. Before I knew it we were going at it like animals. We went at it everywhere. On computers. Scanners. Desks. She even let me stick a stapler in her ass. After a half hour of screwing each other’s brains out, we collapsed in a sweaty heap on the floor, repeating the act three more times in the next hour. It was a night I’ll never forget. The SFVOSP was gone before we could get a pic. We were disappointed.

Name Withheld Phil and Larry

(pictured above, the altercation captured on a Post It)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

***SUPER BREAKING IMPORTANT EADJ NEWSFLASH UPDATE!!!***


(from the AP Wire)

SOURCES INSIDE 225 NORTH MICHIGAN HAVE CONFIRMED A SPOTTING OF THE ELUSIVE SHORTER, FATTER VERSION OF SCOTT PETERSON STOP. A WITNESS HAS EVEN CAPTURED PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF OF SAID SHORTER, FATTER VERSION OF SCOTT PETERSON AND WILL POST TOMORROW STOP.

JOE NUDELMAN (DON'T LAUGH) WILL CONFIRM THE PHOTO TO COMPARE IT WITH HIS OWN EXPERIENCE WITH THE SHORTER, FATTER VERSION OF SCOTT PETERSON STOP.

(pictured above, a scene from the upcoming Lion's Gate movie "You've Got Dick," wherein two co-workers just yards apart discover that they both ordered the same big black latex cock, when all along they were made for each other. Rated PG-13 for cutesy dialogue, some drug use and a brief shot of scrotum)