Updated Schedule For VidCon 2023

Social media's biggest "stars" are coming together later this month to VidCon, and tickets are selling like hotcakes! But last minute line-up changes have shifted the featured guest schedule. Here are the newest additions:

• Reaction video star Gakey Wong will be mugging and gawking from the side of the stage without giving credit to whoever is onstage

• As per usual, Yammo and Queediddly will be assaulting and harassing random people, claiming that they're "pranks"

• Anime superstar Hokusansa will be possessing a lucky fan's body to enter the real world

• Justin Bieber will return to his early YouTube roots and will perform a song that nobody watches

• A bunch of manosphere podcasters will appear onstage and start arguing and making out with each other

The Difference Between a Hot Dog and a Hot Sausage

Spotted on a NYC hot dog cart, pre-pandemic:

A hot dog will pick you up at the airport.

A hot sausage will send an Uber driven by former supermodel Kathy Ireland.

A hot dog will lend you his phone so you can make a call.

A hot sausage already has the number of whoever you want to call in their phone. They're popular, see.

A hot dog will come over for some poker and some whiskey.

A hot sausage will rent out a Hooters and teach each of the servers Texas Hold 'Em so you can all play.

A hot dog will listen to your medical woes and provide sympathy.

A hot sausage will give you the number of his chiropractor, who happens to be former supermodel Kathy Ireland.

A hot dog will be named Robert.

A hot sausage will be named Rob, Roberto, or Bert, but never Robbie.

A Few More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

The people in NYC are from a wide, beautiful spectrum. So are the nasty, unidentifiable puddles. Here's a Pantone guide to help you identify what you just stepped in with open toed shoes: