The ProofrEADJer: Tuesday Edition

 

"WATCHA DOIN?"

NUTN IM @ CHURCH. U?

HOME. IM BORD.

ME 2

 

THIS HOMILY IS 2 LONG LOL!

GET 2 DA POINT, PRECHA!

LOL

OH SHIT ITS TYM 2 DO THE NICENE CREED

OK ITS COOL I KNOW THIS

 

WE BELV IN 1 GOD

D FATHR ALMYT

MKER OF ALL C-N AND UN C-N

WE BLV IN 1 LORD JS CST

D ONLY SON O GOD

ETERNLE BGOTN O FATHR

GD FROM GD, LT FROM LT

TRU GD FROM TRU GD

B-GOTN NOT MD

1 BN W D FATHR

THRU HIM ALL THNGS WR MD

4 US & 4 OR SLVATN

HE CAME DN FRM HVN

BY D PWR O HLY SPRT

HE BCM INCRN8 FROM VG MRY

& WAS MD MAN

4 OR SK HE WAS CRUCFD UDR POTS PIL8

HE SUFRD DYD & WAS BRD

ON DAY 3 HE ROSE AGN

IN ACCRDNCE W SCRPTRS
HE ASCND HVN
& IS C-TED @ RT HAND O FATHR

HE WILL CM AGN IN GLRY 2 JGE LVNG + DD

AND HIS KNGDM W HAVE NO END

WE BLV IN D HLY SPRT, THE LRD GVR O LF
WHO PRCDS FROM FATHR & SN

WITH FATHR & SN HES WORSHPD & GLR5

HE SPOKEN THRU PRPHTS

WE BLVE IN 1 HOLY CATH & APOST CHCH

WE ACKNOWLEDGE 1 BAP 4 4GVNS O SINS

WE LOOK 4 RESURR O DD

& LFE WRLD 2 CM. 

AMN

Some Instances Where Responding "That's What She Said!" Probably Wouldn't Be Right

"Well, I've never been so disappointed in my life."
"I'm actually a man."
"I think we should just be friends, Matthew."
"Where did all this extra ham come from?"
"Sir, I'm very sorry to tell you this, but you have leukemia."
"Holy shit. What a small penis!"
"Tickets, please."
"Can we stop now?"
"Oh my God. I can't feel my legs!"
"Your total is $4.56."
"Hello, my name is Jean Claude Van Damme."
"RAPE!"
"I need to be alone for a while."
"No, thank you."
"Woof."
"The dry areas indicate where the drought hit hardest."
"I don't think I can trust you anymore."
"These goddamned fritters are so fucking hard to prepare."
"That's what she said!"
"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."
"You're not worth it."
"This is an abomination."
"I'm so depressed."
"I sliced it as thin as I could for you."

A Beary Merry Christmas From EADJ!

Eat A Dick Joel would like to wish both of our readers a happy and healthy holiday, filled with wonder and extremely unhappy stuffed bears!