Spotted on Route 22 In Union, NJ

Here's a truck for a company called "Poppy LLC," featuring a gangsta kid with his baggy pants hung low, inspiring confidence everywhere.

At closer inspection, it turns out "POPPY" stands for "Paycheck Owed Phone Poppy You." What.

For one thing, you can't have the name of the acronym IN the acronym. And what the bing bong shit does "Paycheck Owed Phone Poppy You" mean?

THIS IS THE WORST CAMOUFLAGE FOR A SECRET GOVERNMENT OPERATION EVER.

***Update: I turned on the ol' Google machine and searched for "Poppy LLC." The first result didn't seem like the same company, but the fifth result scarily showed that I wasn't far off:

Poppy Llc is an acitve (sic) carrier operating under United States Department of Transportation (USDOT) Number 2505095. Carrier is licensed to carry hazmat rated materials from the general freight, cargo categories.

HOLY SHIT THAT TRUCK DROVE RIGHT BY ME I'M GOING TO DIE

The ProofrEADJer: Almost Back-To-School Edition

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of August 10

The following hashtags were so unpopular, they made whoever used them lose 99% of their followers and gave them irritable bowel syndrome. Feel free to use these in your own Twittersphere communiques:

#robinthicketix

#comicsansresume

#gangrapebloopers

#hospicekarateclub

#supersoakerfullofbile

#biscuitwarmingbuttcheeks

#weirdthingbetweenmytesticles

#enjoyingFullHouseunironically

#irritablebowelsyndromehereicome

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Andrew Gall

I'm so surprised this never occurred to me before.

♫ And The Pathers Gonna Path, Path, Path, Path, Path and The Markers Gonna Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark... ♫

New EADJ Segment: Rising YouTube Celebrities To Watch For

The following are the latest, most popular breakout stars of YouTube, and if you've never heard of them, that means you are about to die of old age.

YouTube Breakout Star: DW11N11K

# Followers: 494,327,598

Summary: DW11N11K is a 19 year old from Belgium who looks at snack cakes (we never see the snack cakes on camera) and makes funny comments about them, often using his hilarious trademark insult "SNÂÂKKØØ!" in his four (and counting) videos. The Huffington Post called DW11N11K "the future of comedy."

Upcoming Project: DW11N11K has just signed a three-picture deal to write, direct and produce a 3D, IMAX DW11N11K trilogy with a budget of $567 Million. "SNÂÂKKØØ!" indeed.

YouTube Breakout Star: Samanthy Van Husselof-Camembert, in her blog "sAmAnThY's Makeup Instructionals"

# Followers: 8 trillion

Summary: Samanthy is a makeup blogger who alternates between how-to's about makeup and complaining about her Mom's diarrhea (they share the bathroom). In just 4 minutes, you can emulate the lipstick secrets of Princess Grace and Ariana Grande OR learn more about how dehydrated a 53 year old woman can become after only two trips to the toilet.

Upcoming Project: Samanthy is planning a "Friends" reunion, although none of the original stars have signed on, and so far it's only Samanthy and her Mom.

YouTube Breakout Star: Professor Timothy Grant of Rutgers University a.k.a. THE TIMBERSHANK

# Followers: ∞

Summary: Little is known about the secret identity of THE TIMBERSHANK, other than it's Professor Timothy Grant, head of the Biology Department at Rutgers University. THE TIMBERSHANK hosts a series of disturbing videos of cells dividing, moths mating and something called "symbiotic relationships between animals of different species." Trippy and psychedelic, these unexplainable videos are the cutting edge of avant garde YouTube entertainment.

Upcoming Project: Professor Timothy Grant a.k.a. THE TIMBERSHANK will be a chaperone at the Rutgers University Orientation Mixer For Freshman at the beginning of the Fall Semester. His office hours are 5pm-6:30pm on Thursdays in the Plant Science Field House building on the George H. Cook Campus.