Upcoming New Titles On the Documentaries Channel

Everybody loves documentaries, especially people who like to pretend they read a lot. Here now are the latest titles coming to the Documentaries Channel:

"Pork and Beans: How a Hog Farmer and a Bean Farmer Became Legends"

"Tits: A History of Poor Eye Contact"

"Who Was Jesus? A Monthly Time Magazine Series That Repeats Itself"

"The Supreme Court Justices' Sexual Fetishes"

"Converting Sand Dollars Into Bitcoin"

"The Co-Dependent Relationship Between Mario and Princess Peach"

"How A Real Doll Became State Senator of Missouri"

"BALLS DEEP: The Biography of Emily Post"

"We Try To Make Aubrey Plaza Giggle"

UAG

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

HBO Max periodically renews or cancels series or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• C.H.U.D.: The Chuddening

• Trashy Women At Customer Service

• Passive Aggressive Notes From My Mother That I Turned Into a Screenplay

• Dragons and Boobs

• Past-His-Prime Comedian Workshops Some New Bullshit

• Flirtatious Donkey Animated Series

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max will be removing from their lineup this month:

• Suck My Balls: The Boba Tea Story

• Crawlspace! The Musical

• 16 Hours of Nickelback Working on Their 2008 Album "Dark Horse"

• Unboxing: The Horror Movie

• A History of Colons

• A Roomful of YouTubers and IG Influencers, All With Nail Guns

• Pull It Real Good: Why Spinderella Quit Salt 'N Pepa

"First, Let's Kill All The Pathmarks"

This one's a little hard to spot:

H.R. Would Like A Word With You

Hi. I know I don't pop by your office very often, but I just wanted to know if you had some time this week for a quick meeting at my office? If not this week, then maybe next week?

No, you're not in any trouble or anything, haha. God forbid, right? No, the reason I need you to come by is just for some routine, procedural stuff. Nothing to get alarmed about or any reason to call your lawyer over. Yet. Kidding! LOL

But yeah. If you could find some time–like an hour, maybe?–to come by and close the door and have a talk with Gina and me, then hopefully we can get to the bottom of what we've been hearing. What? What have we been hearing? It's nothing, really. Nothing we can discuss out here in the open, anyway! LOL. But let's pencil you in for Tuesday 9am.

So, yeah. Just put that in your calendar, and we'll be sure to see you bright and early on Tuesday, 'kay? Have a good rest of your day, and don't talk to any of your co-workers about this, even if you hear something about it on the news tonight. Great!

UAG

Bruce Willis's Inner Dialogue Based On Movie Posters

"Survive the Night? If I can survive this shoot without undercooked food in the craft service, I'll be happy."

"I'm sure this Chad Michael Murray fellow is a lovely person, but when did he and I get joined at the fucking hip?"

"THAT'S the title of the movie? Fine, whatever. As long as the check clears."

"Now I really don't get this title. And I'm a cop in this one? Is this a romance? No? Shit."

"I remember being in a Seagrams Golden Wine Cooler commercial with Sharon Stone. Those were the days."

"This is kind of fun. Sci-fi. This other guy seems familiar, too. We're acting on green screen? Shit."

"Please help me. I don't want to be in movies anymore. Not even good ones."