An Open Discussion, Part II

Earlier last week, we thought we spotted HGTV star Christina El Moussa modeling in a shitty catalog. After careful review, we have decided that this is NOT the former "Flip or Flop" host. Why? MOLES.

Here we found the shitty catalog online and pulled up the item based on the catalog number. A closeup of the model indicates that she has 2 or 3 prominent birthmarks on her neck.

We hired Los Angeles's top forensics specialists to examine the catalog photo and compare it a photo of El Moussa, and they said it was conclusive that El Moussa does not have any neck moles and therefore cannot be the woman in the floral top page of the catalog.

This concludes the Open Discussion and closes the nonexistent debate forever. Amen.

Ite Adique, Zholl!

Damn that Ticketmaster!

The online ticket broker opened the box office this morning and charged $85 a ticket for an upcoming Michelle Branch concert in L.A. And Joel, being the #1 Michelle Branch fan that he is, has waited months for Branch to come to town just to hear "Everywhere" live. The steep ticket price, however, has forced Joel to pawn almost every copy of Sweet Valley High in his collection, including #101 "The Boyfriend War" with the rare cover. He has also placed an ad in the paper as a "Dick-Eater" for corporate or special events.

EADJ has opened a "Send Joel to Michelle Branch" fund. Donations in amounts of $5, $10, and $85 are welcome. Get ready for some serious female singer/songwriter rocking out, Joel!

(pictured above, Kenurkey presents some Corona concepts to Marshall)