More Info Wars Conspiracies In Development

Alex Jones's band of talented conspiracy writers work 'round the clock to give you the freshest, most mooseshit right-wing theories on "Info Wars." Here are just a few of those items that Alex plans to squeeze out his mouth hole next week:

• If you don't say "amen" after saying grace at dinner, Planned Parenthood opens another clinic.

• Apple's Siri is actually an ISIS operative. Think about it– they use the SAME EXACT LETTERS

• Fresh guacamole is made from illegal immigrant women's tears, which is why it is so goddamned DELICIOUS Y'ALL

• Hillary Clinton is a T-800 model Terminator sent from the past to kill Donald Trump Jr. before he can father more Trumps. Luckily, she failed and is awaiting decommissioning.

• The X-Men movie series are coded with frequencies to hypnotizing you into forgetting that your life is a series of disappointing failures and missteps and that you should probably stop spreading hate to cover up your personal failures.

• Anal warts was originally created in a lab by Democrats to reduce the size of the voting population so that only uninfected could pick the next President. Clearly this backfired, and the anal-warted almost elected another Obama-type in 2016. WE MUST REMAIN STRONG!

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

I really love doing these.

 

My Mom Hates Talking Politics

Here my parents talk real estate, the Unabomber, and the Unabomber's brother. And being the evil shit that I am, I steer the conversation towards politics- which my mother hates- causing her to turn on the radio. Let's watch!