Hey. I know you're about to enjoy this salad that I'm in, but I just wanted to get this out before you start:
You can't escape me.
I mean it. You can't avoid me. You can add shredded chicken, cheese, cherry tomatoes, croutons... whatever, I don't care. Knock yourself out. But you can't get away from lettuce. I AM THE SALAD.
You can drench me in dressing. You can sprinkle bacon bits. You can even throw a hard boiled egg in there, I don't give a shit. All that extra stuff will be happily devoured by you, but you will still be facing ME when it's over. I'll be seeing you.
Hahahahaha look at me at the bottom of the bowl! I told you! I AM INEVITABLE.
