UAG

The 2017 NJ Transit Survey Flyer and The Current Administration: A Correlation

So it's no secret that the country sucks now that whatshisname is in office. I guess it's only par for the course now that the survey flyer for the NJ Transit this year sucks just as badly. Check out this turd:

Yes, long gone are our 6 stiffly posed friends from years ago, only to be replaced by a new set of 5 stiffly posed strangers from what looks like a royalty free stock company. Strangely, the only surviving element has always been the "Customer Satisfaction Survey" sunburst.

I'm guessing the orange isn't an accident. The diversity is surprising, though. I'm not even going to dignify this year's entry with a thorough review or pretend backstories for the people in the picture. Because THIS IS ALL STEVE BANNON'S FAULT.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Make Money On YouTube

In order to earn a healthy income from YouTube, stop viewing that platform as a monetize-able medium in and of itself. Instead, think of YouTube as the catalyst. The real way to make money from YouTube is to leverage its massive network. Here's how:

1) Sell your own goods on Spotify. You can set up an ecommerce storefront using a resource like Shopify, then produce videos that fit into your product’s niche. At the end of the videos, you can produce calculated CTAs that funnel traffic to your product landing pages.

2) Sell premium videos with Yondo. Create a YouTube channel and build an audience. The primary goal is to engage this audience and build a brand name. Then, once you've established a reputation, begin driving traffic to your own landing pages where you can up-sell viewers with premium video content. One of the best ways to do this is by using a solution like Yondo, which lets you create your own store that sells on-demand video content with your own domain. You can sell pay-per-view rentals, monthly subscriptions or anything in between. Best of all, you get to set your price and you don’t have to split revenue down the middle with YouTube.

3) Direct traffic to affiliate links. Instead of relying on static blogs to drive people to affiliate links, try creating a lively YouTube channel and using it as the primary catalyst. As the internet continues to move toward video as the primary form of content, you can get ahead of the curve and begin to benefit now.

4) Attract sponsorships. If you study the most successful YouTubers, you’ll notice the sponsorships and advertisements they have in their video recordings. These deals are opportunities the video-makers have discovered on their own. And the great thing about sponsorships is that you don’t have to give YouTube a cut. Plus, you can negotiate whatever contracts you want based on impressions and the size of your audience. 

And speaking of audience, sometimes when I'm driving my limousine and I'm in a really good mood, I'll start singing along with the Jerry Vale CD I'm playing. If you're riding in the back and raise the partition, it's okay- I won't be offended. Stay safe, kids.

The ProofrEADJer: May Payday Edition

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

The local theatre production of "Lawrence of Arabia" tried their best with the budget they had.

Two former students harmlessly exact revenge on their alma mater using one bootleg copy of Photoshop and photos of a fireplace fire.

Later, Residence Inn employees were baffled by the baby oil footprints on the 8th floor.

This is actually really well done. No changes!

Mom's curlers + Mom's blue bedsheets + flashlight = GANGSTA MIXTAPE!

We all love the smell of our own farts, don't we?

"School crosswalks LOL!"

There was a mixup at the printer, and they ended up putting the paper *protecting* the artwork on the scanner. Whoopsie!

George would rather wait hours for his party to show up than lose the deposit on his Houston's Steakhouse reservation.

Choose the wrong typeface and you end up on the cover of "The Crap Tribune."

Racist Appliance Sun, Won't You Come, And Wash Away The Raaaaainn...