A New Segment Where We Shit On Children's Books

Shitting on children's books- does that make you feel like a big blog? I bet it does. Ooh, look at the big mean blog, shitting on books that are trying to instruct young minds.

Nice going to the potty. Now you just put your pants on backwards, genius.

Sir Topham Hat might have the market cornered on talking train slave labor, but he apparently doesn't  know there's a December 31.

Where is Tico? Try behind the barn, buried under the pig trough.

FUCK YOU SUE BENTLEY

Pressuring an infant to "use their words" is some hardcore Tiger Mothering. And who stole Governor Chris Christie's golf pants?

The Health Department soon shut down the whole operation when they saw A FUCKING RAT handling the food.

After playing construction, Joshua is going to go to his play house to beat his play wife for burning the play dinner.

Spotted In Irvington, NJ

What I first thought was a strip club turned out to be a ladies hair salon. I guess the silhouetted skanks threw me off. DANGEROUS DIVAS.

I'm not sure if $50 sew-in hair weaves are supposed to be a bargain (it's been so long since I've had one done), but I definitely cannot say no to a $15 doobie.

No, wait. What kind of doobie are we talking about here?





So, it's a Rachel for sisters? Looks nice.

ZOMG

Spotted in the September issue of Steppin' Out Magazine (where do I find these obscure periodicals?), a Halloween-themed ad for a haunted house featuring someone named Addy Miller:


Apparently she appeared briefly in the excellent AMC series "The Walking Dead." (The first season was only six episodes; you should check it out.)



Wait, twenty bucks for an autograph? I don't think George Takay or Malcolm McDowell charge that much for a signature at comicons. And I'm happy for this little girl's success, but let's be truthful here- she was onscreen for like 20 horrific seconds.

Here's Addy in action:



"Hi, Addy. Big fan. I really enjoyed seeing you getting your head blown off in the pilot episode. Can you sign this comic, little girl?" Creepy in more ways than one.