Another Facebook Ad

Apparently, Brooklinen customers would pay $35 to have their room smell like sweaty, clandestine 70s sex in a camper van.

Some All New Benefits That Come With An AMC Stubs Rewards Membership

AMC has updated their rewards program so that current and new members can enjoy even more at their next trip to the theatre! Members, show your Stubs Rewards card, fob, or ankle bracelet to collect these new awesome rewards:

• Any movie that stars Kevin Spacey is now free

• Free Netflix membership for some reason

• Permission to use the fire exit to go out for a smoke and come back

• Jerry the manager will guess your bra size by handling your tits

• Free charger for your phone (2012 Kyocera Hydro C5170 model only)

• Flu shot for only $2

• Extra four pairs of 3D glasses if you're a spider

• Free racial sensitivity seminar

• AMC Stubs Movie Pants for people with diarrhea

• Ability to vote in 4 states simultaneously in all elections

• Free kidney in every jumbo soda

• Free oral sex for the deaf

• Free 3-day old Edible Arrangement

Your Guide To Living Excellently By Steve Bannon

Hi guys.

Steve Bannon here. I'm sure a lot of you are wondrering why I would make time in my already busy schedule to write a column on an unknown blog about how to live excelently. Well, it's because I care about you people, and I wanted to share the secrets I've dicovered that can get you to where I am now. So let's begin and HAVE SOME FUN!

The first thing we need to address in this wonderful 3-part series is CAPITLASISM. From the lemonade stand on your corner to the multicongolmeate international corporations you see today, we need to feed the wheels of industry to make society pay for its liberal sins of civil rights SUCCEED!

And how do we do this? Simple! In addition to continuing the honored traditions of nationalism, sexual modesty, patriarchy, and religion, we have to GO OUT TO EAT!  That ensures that all the rules of society don't break down into orgies, civil disobedience and miscegenation. Also, TIP YOUR WAITRESSES! They work hard, and you gotta give it up to them for doing they're job so well!

Am I making sense? I hope so. I'm writting this on a Blackberry in a limo bound for GOLDEN CORRAL!!!!! That's right. I PATRICE WHAT I PREACH and I am feeding the weels of industry by spending my hard earned white money into an honest white Christian business. PROGRESS!

Okay enough fun for my first entry. I spilled some pork n beans on my suit pants here. Also I think I'm either getting a goiter or there's a squirrel under my chin. SEE YOU SOON!

Love and white power,

Steve