Thursday, July 25, 2024

Some Hollywood Movies Based On Strip Mall Store Names in Irvington, NJ

Hollywood studios are running out of ideas. So what do they do? They turn everywhere for script inspiration. This time from the sign of a strip mall in Irvington, NJ. We will highlight their newest greenlit projects based on these store names.


But first, let's eliminate all the stores that are already titles of movies. Supremo...


Blink...


Snipes (starring Nelly?!)...


and Metro...


Okay, now here are the latest movies in development based on that big dumb sign:


"Maple Spring Commons" starring Alexis Bledel, Fergie, Janelle Monae and Clancy Brown

Maple Spring Commons is a cozy Northeastern town, but Betsy (Bledel) can't wait to get out to see the rest of the world. When her father (Brown) falls ill, she takes over the family store with her friends (Fergie and Monae) and fights to keep it afloat. Also starring Zach Braff as her eventual love interest.

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"Leading Pharmacy" starring Austin Butler, Olivia Holt and Zendaya

An unprincipled drug dealer (Butler) is blackmailed by two high school students (Holt and Zendaya) to provide their upcoming house party with drugs, but he has other, more nefarious plans. Also starring Dan Aykroyd as somebody's dad?

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"Hunan Royal" starring Simu Liu, Dylan Wang, Gemma Chan and James Hong

This magnificent period drama takes place during the Qin Dynasty (221–206 BCE) with lots of exquisite costumes and sets and traditional music. No idea what it's about though, although Hunan refers to food. Also starring Dan Aykroyd as somebody's dad?

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"ALL ABOUT WIG 2" starring Jo Koy, Leslie Jones, Rupaul and Abby Elliott

This out of control comedy pits wig store owner Kendra (Jones) against her estranged sister Devon (Rupaul) who is trying to steal her business by opening a competing wig store ACROSS THE STREET. Can you believe that shit? Music by Chilli and T-Boz.

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