Alex Jones, his toupee, and his group of talented writers are all working on the next batch of news stories conspiracy theories for their listeners. Here are the latest:
• The government is creating a national "postal service" where they will have government agents deliver mail TO YOUR HOME.
• Shrinky Dinks, when baked in the oven, released toxic chemicals into your kitchen to make you vote Democrat
• Taco Bell Cinnamon Crispas weren't a real Mexican dessert item. THEY WERE INVENTED BY PEPSICO
• Our staff did some research after listening to The Boomtown Rats and found out Boomtown does not exist, so those rats lied about where they're from
• In the Highlights Magazine segment "Goofus & Gallant", it turns out GOOFUS was the good guy all along!!!!!
• When you get a cramp in your leg while taking a shit, that's just Jesus saying "wassup" to you
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