Synopses For New Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Caveat Emptor"

Charlie's gambling addiction is revealed to his common-law wife, who leaves him immediately. His step-sister comforts him sexually.

"Within, Without"

The Purple Town Hustlaz clash violently with the Green Side Apostles, and Commissioner Lavender is forced to call in the National (Color) Guard. Rumors of a dirty bomb in the train yard forces loading crews to evacuate. College students start falling sick from a "puce-colored STD".

"Forcible Removal"

Red religious zealots burn down the Gray Community Center. Charlie and his kid deputies raid an opium den in Color Wheel Park and uncover an immigrant trafficking ring. Gerry euthanizes Hue the Police Horse after it shatters its leg in a dressage event.

Don't Do This.

I saw this happen in the Target parking lot and could've believe it.

A woman with a toddler WALKS TOWARD a goose in the parking lot.

Let me repeat that. She WILLINGLY GOT CLOSER to a wild goose. WITH HER SMALL CHILD.

Lady, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GOOSE IN REAL LIFE BEFORE.

THEY WILL ATTACK YOU AND YOUR BABY WITHOUT REMORSE. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING PETTING ZOO. WHY ARE YOU GETTING CLOSER.

I honked my horn as a warning but I don't think the mother figured out she was in danger. And the goose was unbothered by it all, thank God. Stupid people, man.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of Nov. 10

Twitter sucks my nuts, but even lowly Twitter users have standards when it comes to hashtags. Here are the hashtags that are NOT trending:

#Etsybargain

#groinOlympics

#DeSantisKombucha

#DollarGeneralskeetskeet

#sexualassaultwithabanjo

#followmeformoreterriblelegaladvice

#personallyIlikethewaythisbowlhaircutlooks

Like a Pathmark Touched For The Very First Time

Yes, that is ice cream left hidden amongst tea.

If You See A Faded Sign At The Side of The Road That Says '15 Miles To the PAAAATHMARK!'

J'Net & The Two Bears

Over the weekend, J'Net encountered not one, but TWO frightening beasts. She barely escaped with her life! There were two grizzlies.

Here's one:



And two: